1 00:00:05,090 --> 00:00:07,090 Ensign Pulver (1964) 2 00:00:46,891 --> 00:00:51,893 * Gonna take a sentimental journey * 3 00:00:51,895 --> 00:00:53,896 * Bo bo bo bom * 4 00:00:53,897 --> 00:00:57,900 * When this stupid war is done * 5 00:00:57,901 --> 00:00:59,901 * Bo bom, bo bom * 6 00:00:59,903 --> 00:01:05,405 * Going where it's leafy, fresh, and ferny * 7 00:01:05,406 --> 00:01:09,909 * Heading toward the setting sun * 8 00:01:10,410 --> 00:01:12,912 * Heaven * 9 00:01:12,913 --> 00:01:15,914 * That's the place I'm going * 10 00:01:15,916 --> 00:01:17,916 * Heaven * 11 00:01:17,916 --> 00:01:21,418 * With no simple showing * 12 00:01:21,419 --> 00:01:23,920 * Seven * 13 00:01:23,921 --> 00:01:28,925 * That's the time the porter'll shake me, but * 14 00:01:28,926 --> 00:01:31,427 * No porter'll have to wake me * 15 00:01:31,427 --> 00:01:32,928 * Bo bo bo bom * 16 00:01:32,929 --> 00:01:37,933 * Never felt so shivery and dirty * 17 00:01:38,433 --> 00:01:43,436 * Counting white calves in the fold * 18 00:01:43,437 --> 00:01:47,940 * Sweating out my sentimental journey * 19 00:01:48,442 --> 00:01:49,942 * Bo bo bo bom * 20 00:01:49,943 --> 00:01:55,446 * Sentimental journey home * 21 00:01:55,447 --> 00:02:02,953 * Sentimental journey home * 22 00:02:04,955 --> 00:02:07,456 * Who's afraid of the big fat captain? * 23 00:02:07,457 --> 00:02:09,958 * Who's afraid of the cruddy captain? * 24 00:02:10,459 --> 00:02:13,962 * Who's afraid of the jerky captain? * 25 00:02:13,962 --> 00:02:17,464 * Everyone aboard, sir * 26 00:02:17,465 --> 00:02:18,465 Now hear this! 27 00:02:18,465 --> 00:02:21,467 * Who's afraid of... * now hear this! 28 00:02:21,468 --> 00:02:25,472 The captain says there will be no more singing this evening 29 00:02:25,473 --> 00:02:26,973 because of that song. 30 00:02:26,974 --> 00:02:28,474 That is all. 31 00:02:35,981 --> 00:02:38,983 Now hear this! Now hear this! 32 00:02:38,983 --> 00:02:41,484 Reveille! 33 00:02:41,485 --> 00:02:44,486 I reiterate... reveille! 34 00:02:44,488 --> 00:02:48,991 The captain says, because you sang that song last night, 35 00:02:48,991 --> 00:02:52,993 there will be no swimming and no movies for four days. 36 00:02:52,995 --> 00:02:54,996 That is all. 37 00:02:57,499 --> 00:02:59,499 Hit the deck! 38 00:02:59,500 --> 00:03:01,501 Greet the new day! 39 00:03:01,502 --> 00:03:03,002 Up and at 'em! 40 00:03:03,003 --> 00:03:05,504 If he says "rise and shine," I'm gonna vomit. 41 00:03:05,504 --> 00:03:07,006 Rise and shine! 42 00:03:07,006 --> 00:03:08,507 Gaah! 43 00:03:14,012 --> 00:03:15,512 You awake, Carney? 44 00:03:15,513 --> 00:03:16,512 I must be. 45 00:03:16,514 --> 00:03:18,514 I can smell that stinking island. 46 00:03:18,515 --> 00:03:22,017 I'm gonna get up. 47 00:03:22,018 --> 00:03:24,019 Hey, Pulver's taking the mail march today 48 00:03:24,021 --> 00:03:26,022 to pick up our three bottles of scotch. 49 00:03:26,022 --> 00:03:27,522 Did he make the deal? 50 00:03:27,523 --> 00:03:29,524 Sure. With the admiral's dining steward, 51 00:03:29,525 --> 00:03:31,525 and cheap... only 75 bucks a bottle. 52 00:03:31,526 --> 00:03:33,528 Mr. Billings, the radio shack 53 00:03:33,528 --> 00:03:36,029 wants you to break an important message. 54 00:03:36,030 --> 00:03:37,530 Maybe we got a liberty. 55 00:03:37,531 --> 00:03:39,032 Ha! 56 00:03:39,033 --> 00:03:42,034 Yeah, some cruddy island a thousand miles from here 57 00:03:42,034 --> 00:03:43,535 needs another box of toothpicks. 58 00:03:43,536 --> 00:03:47,538 Now hear this! Now hear this! 59 00:03:47,539 --> 00:03:50,540 Sick call! Sick call! 60 00:03:50,541 --> 00:03:52,543 Hey, when's he coming? 61 00:03:54,544 --> 00:03:56,546 I got an awful stomach ache. 62 00:03:56,548 --> 00:04:00,049 Doc, I think I got a fractured rib! 63 00:04:00,050 --> 00:04:03,051 A fractured rib... break out the aspirin, Payne. 64 00:04:03,052 --> 00:04:05,053 Why the flush of hypochondriacs? 65 00:04:05,054 --> 00:04:06,054 Cargo work today. 66 00:04:06,055 --> 00:04:08,055 Ship's coming alongside for supplies. 67 00:04:08,057 --> 00:04:09,056 Okay, let's go! 68 00:04:09,057 --> 00:04:10,558 No, wait a minute, wait a minute. 69 00:04:13,560 --> 00:04:16,561 Take this $75 over to Ensign Pulver, 70 00:04:16,563 --> 00:04:20,065 and tell him to get me two bottles of scotch 71 00:04:20,067 --> 00:04:21,566 instead of one. 72 00:04:21,567 --> 00:04:24,068 Wait a minute. That's only $65. 73 00:04:24,070 --> 00:04:27,571 Oh, well, I'll put in the extra 10 bucks, Doc, 74 00:04:27,572 --> 00:04:29,573 if I can have a swig. 75 00:04:29,574 --> 00:04:32,575 I haven't tasted scotch for two years. 76 00:04:32,576 --> 00:04:36,078 Okay. But just a swig. 77 00:04:38,081 --> 00:04:41,083 Oh, Bacchus, god of alcohol, 78 00:04:41,083 --> 00:04:44,085 coordinate Frank Pulver 79 00:04:44,086 --> 00:04:48,589 and glue him together for one day, please. 80 00:05:11,108 --> 00:05:14,110 Hey, you sure we can't sell you another crate of toothpaste? 81 00:05:14,111 --> 00:05:15,110 We're loaded. 82 00:05:15,111 --> 00:05:16,611 We got it coming out of our ears! Yeah. 83 00:05:16,612 --> 00:05:20,114 Are bras that heavy, Mr. Pulver? 84 00:05:20,116 --> 00:05:22,116 Only when they're full. 85 00:05:24,620 --> 00:05:27,620 Hey, lieutenant, you want to swap movies? 86 00:05:27,621 --> 00:05:28,621 We got a new one... 87 00:05:28,623 --> 00:05:31,623 "Young Dr. Jekyll meets Frankenstein." 88 00:05:31,624 --> 00:05:34,127 We've seen that one four times. 89 00:05:34,127 --> 00:05:36,629 Yeah, we've seen it eight. 90 00:05:39,631 --> 00:05:41,132 Has he got the booze? 91 00:06:00,649 --> 00:06:01,650 Hey, Doc. 92 00:06:11,157 --> 00:06:13,659 * Passengers will please refrain from flushing toilets * 93 00:06:13,660 --> 00:06:16,160 * While the train is standing in the station * 94 00:06:16,162 --> 00:06:17,661 * I love you * 95 00:06:17,662 --> 00:06:20,163 Hello, captain. 96 00:06:20,165 --> 00:06:22,665 What's in the box, mister? 97 00:06:22,665 --> 00:06:24,667 Brassieres, sir. 98 00:06:24,669 --> 00:06:26,169 Brassieres?! 99 00:06:26,170 --> 00:06:29,672 I figure that, uh, Doc could use them at sick call... 100 00:06:29,673 --> 00:06:32,674 for slings and trusses... kneepads or something. 101 00:06:32,676 --> 00:06:35,176 Kneepads! Doc, I couldn't get those kneepads 102 00:06:35,177 --> 00:06:37,179 you asked for, but brassieres do. 103 00:06:37,179 --> 00:06:38,179 Certainly. That's a fine idea. 104 00:06:38,180 --> 00:06:40,180 Open it. 105 00:06:40,181 --> 00:06:41,182 The men could clean the decks 106 00:06:41,183 --> 00:06:42,862 a lot better kneeling in brassieres, sir... 107 00:06:43,183 --> 00:06:45,185 Open it up! 108 00:06:50,189 --> 00:06:52,689 Mister, just who do you think you are? 109 00:06:52,691 --> 00:06:55,693 Ensign Pulver, sir... laundry and morale officer! 110 00:06:55,694 --> 00:06:58,195 I know that! 111 00:06:58,196 --> 00:07:00,197 I want the name of every man 112 00:07:00,199 --> 00:07:02,199 that ordered a bottle of that stuff. 113 00:07:02,200 --> 00:07:03,699 Nobody ordered it, sir. It's for me. 114 00:07:03,700 --> 00:07:05,702 You was gonna drink all of that yourself? 115 00:07:06,203 --> 00:07:07,703 Yes, sir. 116 00:07:08,204 --> 00:07:09,205 Slowly. 117 00:07:09,206 --> 00:07:12,706 This is a navy ship, mister. 118 00:07:12,707 --> 00:07:14,709 Throw that dirty liquor overboard. 119 00:07:25,219 --> 00:07:28,720 No! 120 00:07:28,722 --> 00:07:31,723 Goodbye. 121 00:07:31,724 --> 00:07:35,725 [ Indistinct conversations ] 122 00:07:35,726 --> 00:07:38,728 Bruno's turn. Bruno's turn. 123 00:07:38,729 --> 00:07:40,229 Be good to me, sweetheart. 124 00:07:40,731 --> 00:07:41,731 What is it? What is it? 125 00:07:41,732 --> 00:07:42,732 It's a 3. 126 00:07:43,233 --> 00:07:45,233 Bruno, give me back my money. 127 00:07:45,234 --> 00:07:46,735 I got it on my pile before you saw me. 128 00:07:46,735 --> 00:07:48,236 Now this is sucker's monopoly. 129 00:07:48,737 --> 00:07:50,238 You're supposed to cheat, right? 130 00:07:50,239 --> 00:07:51,738 Right. 131 00:07:51,739 --> 00:07:54,241 You know, John X, you're not only a radio operator. 132 00:07:54,242 --> 00:07:55,743 You're a big-time operator. Thanks. 133 00:07:55,743 --> 00:07:57,744 No. No, he means you're a crook. 134 00:07:57,745 --> 00:07:59,746 Oh, please, gentlemen, you'll turn my head. 135 00:07:59,747 --> 00:08:01,248 Hey. 136 00:08:04,751 --> 00:08:06,752 Oh, hello, Mr. Billings. You looking for me? 137 00:08:07,252 --> 00:08:08,753 I ain't got duty till tonight. 138 00:08:08,754 --> 00:08:10,254 I just broke this message. 139 00:08:10,255 --> 00:08:12,257 I figured I'd bring it down to you myself. 140 00:08:27,270 --> 00:08:30,271 My kid died. 141 00:08:30,272 --> 00:08:33,774 Drowned at Coney Island. 142 00:08:33,774 --> 00:08:39,278 She was only 18 months old, and I... I never even saw her. 143 00:08:39,279 --> 00:08:40,779 There's more. 144 00:08:42,781 --> 00:08:46,284 "Funeral Saturday. Please try to come. 145 00:08:46,285 --> 00:08:48,785 All my love, Mary." 146 00:08:48,786 --> 00:08:51,288 "Please try to come"? 147 00:08:51,288 --> 00:08:53,290 The captain might give you emergency leave. 148 00:08:53,291 --> 00:08:54,791 Sure. Get the Doc to go with you. 149 00:08:54,792 --> 00:08:56,792 You can pull it off, Bruno. 150 00:08:56,794 --> 00:08:58,795 You're a con man, remember? 151 00:08:58,795 --> 00:09:02,297 And... and besides that, her parents are dead. 152 00:09:02,298 --> 00:09:06,801 So, you see, all she ever wrote about was our little girl. 153 00:09:07,302 --> 00:09:10,304 Captain, sir, I wasn't there when the kid was born, 154 00:09:10,304 --> 00:09:12,304 I wasn't there when she drowned, 155 00:09:12,306 --> 00:09:14,307 so I just got to be there now, 156 00:09:14,308 --> 00:09:16,308 or else she won't have anybody. 157 00:09:16,309 --> 00:09:18,310 Sh-she'll be all by herself at that little funeral. 158 00:09:18,311 --> 00:09:19,810 We've got two more operators, captain. 159 00:09:19,811 --> 00:09:22,314 And, sir, I could hitch a ride on one of those transport planes 160 00:09:22,314 --> 00:09:24,434 and get back aboard before anybody would even miss me. 161 00:09:24,817 --> 00:09:25,816 You ain't going. 162 00:09:25,817 --> 00:09:28,818 This ain't no kindergarten, junior. 163 00:09:28,820 --> 00:09:31,821 This is the navy. I'm sorry about your kid. 164 00:09:31,822 --> 00:09:35,825 We'll have a special chapel ceremony for her. 165 00:09:35,825 --> 00:09:39,327 But Admiral Finchley's got his eye on us, 166 00:09:39,328 --> 00:09:42,830 and we ain't gonna let him down, now, are we? 167 00:09:42,831 --> 00:09:46,333 Coleslaw! 168 00:09:46,334 --> 00:09:48,834 How could they do that to roast beef? 169 00:09:48,835 --> 00:09:51,837 There's a war on. I'm... 170 00:09:51,837 --> 00:09:53,840 the hell with the war, and the hell with... 171 00:09:53,841 --> 00:09:55,841 Bruno, I think you'd better go now. 172 00:09:55,842 --> 00:09:57,343 And the hell with you, too, Doc! 173 00:09:57,343 --> 00:09:58,844 We ain't fighting no war. 174 00:09:58,845 --> 00:10:00,845 We ain't been within 5,000 miles of the enemy. 175 00:10:00,846 --> 00:10:03,348 Nobody needs us. We're a joke! 176 00:10:03,348 --> 00:10:04,848 Captain, my kid died 177 00:10:04,849 --> 00:10:06,849 because I was delivering potato chips 178 00:10:06,850 --> 00:10:09,353 to some admiral that don't want any more! 179 00:10:09,353 --> 00:10:10,853 Get him out of here. 180 00:10:10,853 --> 00:10:13,356 You're gonna give me that leave, captain. 181 00:10:13,357 --> 00:10:15,357 Go back to your duties. 182 00:10:15,357 --> 00:10:19,360 But... 183 00:10:19,361 --> 00:10:22,364 No! 184 00:10:22,365 --> 00:10:25,366 Please, captain. 185 00:10:27,868 --> 00:10:29,869 What did you say? 186 00:10:29,870 --> 00:10:31,870 Please. 187 00:10:31,871 --> 00:10:35,374 Don't pull that stuff on me. 188 00:10:35,375 --> 00:10:36,876 Get him out of here. 189 00:10:38,377 --> 00:10:39,877 I said get him out of here! 190 00:10:39,878 --> 00:10:42,379 Come on, Bruno, let's go. 191 00:10:54,391 --> 00:10:56,890 "Please, sir. Thank you, sir." 192 00:10:56,892 --> 00:10:58,893 Crew's gonna hear about this, captain. 193 00:10:58,894 --> 00:11:01,395 Every one of them is a Bruno, you know. 194 00:11:01,396 --> 00:11:04,897 I don't want a crew of whining sissies with table manners. 195 00:11:04,899 --> 00:11:05,898 I want men! 196 00:11:05,899 --> 00:11:09,402 You've got men! That's your problem! 197 00:11:09,403 --> 00:11:11,903 If we were in combat, it would be different. 198 00:11:11,904 --> 00:11:13,906 These men left their homes to fight, 199 00:11:14,406 --> 00:11:16,407 but they never got into the war. 200 00:11:16,409 --> 00:11:17,908 They're in limbo, captain, 201 00:11:17,909 --> 00:11:20,910 trapped between heaven and hell on a floating 10-cent store! 202 00:11:20,912 --> 00:11:23,914 You college officers make me puke! 203 00:11:29,419 --> 00:11:33,421 Doctor, see that commander's cap? 204 00:11:33,422 --> 00:11:35,923 I'm gonna be wearing that pretty soon 205 00:11:35,924 --> 00:11:38,425 if I don't listen to every crybaby request 206 00:11:38,426 --> 00:11:40,428 that comes from down below. 207 00:11:44,432 --> 00:11:47,932 This ship doesn't need a foreign enemy. 208 00:11:47,933 --> 00:11:51,435 It's got the domestic brand aboard. 209 00:11:54,940 --> 00:11:57,942 The only reason I don't take you by the nap of the neck 210 00:11:57,943 --> 00:11:58,942 and throw you overboard 211 00:11:58,943 --> 00:12:01,444 is that I might need a doctor someday. 212 00:12:01,445 --> 00:12:03,947 That'll be all! 213 00:12:07,950 --> 00:12:10,451 Ah. 214 00:12:11,953 --> 00:12:13,954 And another fly bit the dust. 215 00:12:13,955 --> 00:12:15,455 Come in. 216 00:12:17,458 --> 00:12:19,958 Oh, I was, uh, looking for the doc. 217 00:12:19,959 --> 00:12:22,963 Oh, he'll be dropping in. Stick around. 218 00:12:24,965 --> 00:12:29,968 Um... Billings just told me about your kid. 219 00:12:29,969 --> 00:12:30,968 And what the captain said. 220 00:12:30,969 --> 00:12:32,969 And I think that's the dirtiest... 221 00:12:32,971 --> 00:12:34,972 I don't want to talk about it, Mr. Pulver, 222 00:12:34,973 --> 00:12:35,972 if you don't mind. 223 00:12:35,973 --> 00:12:37,474 Sure. 224 00:12:37,475 --> 00:12:39,975 Sit down. 225 00:12:39,976 --> 00:12:42,977 Did I ever show you my collection? 226 00:12:42,978 --> 00:12:44,979 Hey. That's a Japanese bayonet. 227 00:12:44,980 --> 00:12:45,981 My brother John got it 228 00:12:46,482 --> 00:12:48,483 off one of the millions of guys he captured. 229 00:12:48,484 --> 00:12:51,985 He sent me that Japanese flag and some fireworks. 230 00:12:51,986 --> 00:12:54,488 I'm saving them to celebrate V-J day with. 231 00:12:54,489 --> 00:12:57,491 Oh. 232 00:12:57,492 --> 00:12:59,492 My brother George is a big hero in Europe. 233 00:12:59,493 --> 00:13:01,994 He sent me this German Luger pistol, see? 234 00:13:03,996 --> 00:13:06,998 I got bullets for it. Look. 235 00:13:06,999 --> 00:13:08,999 Huh? 236 00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:12,002 Now, sometimes I, uh... I shoot coconuts off trees. 237 00:13:12,002 --> 00:13:15,004 You know, on those islands where there's nothing to do. 238 00:13:15,004 --> 00:13:20,008 Hey. This is my art gallery. 239 00:13:20,009 --> 00:13:24,012 Uh, Doc calls it the Sistine Ceiling 240 00:13:24,012 --> 00:13:27,014 because I did it all on my back like Michelangelo. 241 00:13:28,016 --> 00:13:29,518 Uh, what did you want to see Doc for? 242 00:13:29,518 --> 00:13:34,021 Uh, to help me word a message to my wife, Mary... 243 00:13:34,021 --> 00:13:37,022 to tell her why I can't get home. 244 00:13:37,023 --> 00:13:38,524 Hey, I can help you, Bruno. 245 00:13:38,525 --> 00:13:40,525 No, no. Thanks, Mr. Pulver. 246 00:13:40,527 --> 00:13:43,028 After all, I'm your morale officer. 247 00:13:45,530 --> 00:13:47,531 Okay, Mr. Pulver. 248 00:13:47,532 --> 00:13:49,032 Yeah. 249 00:13:49,033 --> 00:13:50,533 Um... 250 00:13:53,037 --> 00:13:58,541 How about, "Darling, they won't let me go. 251 00:13:58,542 --> 00:14:01,043 I love you, John X"? 252 00:14:03,545 --> 00:14:06,047 Yeah. 253 00:14:06,048 --> 00:14:09,048 Sure. That's got class. 254 00:14:09,050 --> 00:14:12,051 Yeah, I never thought you'd... 255 00:14:12,052 --> 00:14:14,053 I mean, she'll like that. 256 00:14:27,565 --> 00:14:29,568 I hid this one inside my shirt. 257 00:14:30,067 --> 00:14:31,067 No, no. 258 00:14:31,068 --> 00:14:34,070 I wouldn't dare take a drop of liquor now, Mr. Pulver. 259 00:14:34,071 --> 00:14:35,571 Well, look, anytime you want it, 260 00:14:35,572 --> 00:14:37,071 you just come right in, 261 00:14:37,073 --> 00:14:38,574 whether I'm here or not, and have some. 262 00:14:38,574 --> 00:14:41,076 Hey, thanks, Mr. Pulver. You're a real... 263 00:14:47,581 --> 00:14:49,582 Bruno, did you take that sedative? 264 00:14:49,583 --> 00:14:50,584 It'll make you sleep. 265 00:14:51,084 --> 00:14:52,585 I don't want to sleep, Doc. 266 00:14:52,587 --> 00:14:54,588 I'm going on duty, work up a sweat. 267 00:14:57,090 --> 00:14:58,090 Frank! 268 00:15:01,093 --> 00:15:05,094 Frank, I need some of that alcohol and orange juice 269 00:15:05,095 --> 00:15:08,097 we were drinking last night. 270 00:15:08,098 --> 00:15:11,600 There you are, my rotgut oblivion. 271 00:15:11,601 --> 00:15:15,604 Frank, couldn't you have saved at least one bottle 272 00:15:15,604 --> 00:15:18,606 of that scotch for dear old Doc? 273 00:15:30,617 --> 00:15:34,119 Wish I had the guts 274 00:15:34,120 --> 00:15:37,122 to smuggle Bruno off this ship. 275 00:15:38,624 --> 00:15:41,123 Somebody's got to defy that old tyrant. 276 00:15:41,125 --> 00:15:44,126 There hasn't been one gesture of rebellion or virility 277 00:15:44,127 --> 00:15:46,628 on this ship since Douglas Roberts left. 278 00:15:46,629 --> 00:15:48,130 Now, wait a minute, Unc. 279 00:15:48,130 --> 00:15:49,631 What about the time old Pulver 280 00:15:49,632 --> 00:15:52,134 threw the captain's palm trees over the side, huh? 281 00:15:52,135 --> 00:15:55,136 Guess my virility was showing then, all right, all right. 282 00:15:55,137 --> 00:15:57,639 When you found out Doug was dead, 283 00:15:57,640 --> 00:16:00,139 you had one healthy moment of rage. 284 00:16:00,140 --> 00:16:02,643 But, Frank, that was weeks ago. 285 00:16:02,643 --> 00:16:04,643 What have you done lately? 286 00:16:04,645 --> 00:16:06,646 I've been thinking about a plan... 287 00:16:06,647 --> 00:16:08,146 to scare the captain so bad 288 00:16:08,147 --> 00:16:10,149 he transfers off this ship... that's what. 289 00:16:10,149 --> 00:16:12,650 You and your infantile plans. How? 290 00:16:13,151 --> 00:16:15,653 By putting glass marbles in his overhead 291 00:16:15,654 --> 00:16:17,654 to roll around all night and keep him awake? 292 00:16:20,158 --> 00:16:22,659 Or by scaring him with those legendary Japanese fireworks 293 00:16:22,660 --> 00:16:23,660 that nobody's ever seen? 294 00:16:23,661 --> 00:16:26,662 They're stashed away in a secret place on deck, 295 00:16:26,663 --> 00:16:27,663 and they're real. 296 00:16:27,663 --> 00:16:30,666 "Scare the captain off this ship." 297 00:16:30,666 --> 00:16:33,167 Don't dream. Don't dream. 298 00:16:33,169 --> 00:16:35,669 Stop talking like somebody's father. 299 00:16:35,670 --> 00:16:37,672 What about you? You don't even dream. 300 00:16:37,673 --> 00:16:42,175 Touché, Frank. I'm a vegetable. 301 00:16:42,176 --> 00:16:46,177 Eggplants don't dream, do they? 302 00:16:46,178 --> 00:16:50,181 "And what did you do in the great war, daddy?" 303 00:16:50,182 --> 00:16:55,687 "I sat on a ship, paralyzed, and watched men rot." 304 00:16:55,687 --> 00:16:59,689 I'm kaput, but you've got a potential, 305 00:16:59,690 --> 00:17:04,192 a destructive nature, and what do you do with it? 306 00:17:04,193 --> 00:17:07,695 Shoot flies with a piece of lead foil. 307 00:17:07,696 --> 00:17:10,198 A naval officer has to be an expert at ballistics. 308 00:17:10,199 --> 00:17:12,199 Now watch. 309 00:17:15,703 --> 00:17:17,704 I killed that fly. 310 00:17:17,704 --> 00:17:20,707 You're a hell of a threat to flies, Frank. 311 00:17:20,708 --> 00:17:23,209 Thought you were supposed to like me, Doc. 312 00:17:23,210 --> 00:17:25,210 I do. God forgive me, I do. 313 00:17:25,211 --> 00:17:27,713 I just don't understand how they made you 314 00:17:27,714 --> 00:17:29,213 laundry and morale officer. 315 00:17:29,215 --> 00:17:31,715 I doubt if you've ever seen the laundry. 316 00:17:31,716 --> 00:17:32,718 I run it from here! 317 00:17:35,219 --> 00:17:37,721 Well, I never did like being laundry officer. 318 00:17:38,222 --> 00:17:40,221 I'm preparing myself for bigger things. 319 00:17:40,222 --> 00:17:41,724 Oh. 320 00:17:41,725 --> 00:17:44,725 Is that why you, uh, read all those dirty books? 321 00:17:44,727 --> 00:17:46,728 They're not dirty books, Doc! 322 00:17:46,729 --> 00:17:49,731 They're great literature that has dirty passages! 323 00:17:49,732 --> 00:17:52,232 I'm improving my mind. 324 00:17:52,233 --> 00:17:54,734 I can't go home and stand next to my big-shot brothers 325 00:17:54,735 --> 00:17:56,236 and... face my old man. 326 00:17:56,236 --> 00:17:57,236 Why not? 327 00:17:57,238 --> 00:17:58,738 Are you kidding? 328 00:17:58,739 --> 00:18:01,239 Why, my dad doesn't even speak to people 329 00:18:01,241 --> 00:18:03,242 unless they're presidents or something. 330 00:18:03,742 --> 00:18:05,243 I can't get him to notice me. 331 00:18:10,248 --> 00:18:12,248 Here's your lousy mail! 332 00:18:12,248 --> 00:18:14,250 Hey, what's with you? 333 00:18:14,251 --> 00:18:16,752 I didn't get any, if you want to know. 334 00:18:16,753 --> 00:18:19,755 I'm sorry. 335 00:18:19,756 --> 00:18:22,758 I-it's just that I heard about Bruno's kid, and I... 336 00:18:22,759 --> 00:18:25,760 Well, I'm not taking any more from the captain, that's all! 337 00:18:25,761 --> 00:18:27,261 I've had it right up to here! 338 00:18:27,262 --> 00:18:29,262 There's only one thing left to do. 339 00:18:29,264 --> 00:18:31,765 I'm gonna challenge that bloody Billings, 340 00:18:31,766 --> 00:18:34,267 and I'm gonna play acey-deucey all day long! 341 00:18:37,270 --> 00:18:38,271 Ah. 342 00:18:43,274 --> 00:18:45,777 This ship has the black plague, 343 00:18:45,777 --> 00:18:49,280 and it's spreading faster than I thought. 344 00:18:54,785 --> 00:18:55,785 "Dear, sir... 345 00:18:55,786 --> 00:18:57,787 "I am a pharmacist's mate on the ship 346 00:18:58,287 --> 00:19:00,288 "where Mr. Roberts was killed. 347 00:19:00,289 --> 00:19:02,790 "He said, 'if anything ever happens to me, 348 00:19:02,791 --> 00:19:05,292 "'send these medical books to Ensign Pulver. 349 00:19:05,293 --> 00:19:08,294 He likes to look at the dirty pictures.'" 350 00:19:08,294 --> 00:19:13,298 Doug Roberts quit medical school to fight this stupid war. 351 00:19:13,300 --> 00:19:16,801 Now he's dead, but the war is still alive. 352 00:19:19,805 --> 00:19:21,807 And so is the captain. 353 00:19:35,317 --> 00:19:38,820 "Dr. Pulver." 354 00:19:38,821 --> 00:19:42,323 Boy, would my father drop his britches. 355 00:19:44,825 --> 00:19:46,826 Hurry up with that sling! 356 00:19:46,827 --> 00:19:48,326 Quit looking at me like that! 357 00:19:48,327 --> 00:19:49,830 Like what? Like you were sorry for me! 358 00:19:49,831 --> 00:19:51,831 Why, you conceited Italian crud! 359 00:19:51,832 --> 00:19:53,331 I wasn't even thinking about you! 360 00:19:53,333 --> 00:19:54,333 The hell you wasn't! 361 00:19:54,334 --> 00:19:55,334 You guys have been looking at me 362 00:19:55,334 --> 00:19:57,294 like I was gonna give you the crutch or something! 363 00:19:57,336 --> 00:19:58,336 John X, you're relieved! 364 00:19:58,336 --> 00:20:00,337 But I want to work! I got to! 365 00:20:00,338 --> 00:20:03,340 You heard me! Go on back to your quarters! 366 00:20:09,846 --> 00:20:12,346 Hey, dowdy, I think he was right. 367 00:20:12,347 --> 00:20:13,849 We better do it now. 368 00:20:13,850 --> 00:20:15,850 Okay, let's go. 369 00:20:21,356 --> 00:20:22,356 Oh, come on. 370 00:20:22,357 --> 00:20:25,859 Hey, that's dowdy. Let's go. 371 00:20:30,863 --> 00:20:32,364 Who is it? 372 00:20:32,364 --> 00:20:34,366 Captain, can we see you a minute? 373 00:20:41,372 --> 00:20:42,872 What's going on here? 374 00:20:42,873 --> 00:20:45,375 Captain, I know this ain't regular, 375 00:20:45,876 --> 00:20:47,876 but these men here want me to say 376 00:20:47,877 --> 00:20:50,880 they'll volunteer for extra duty... anything if... 377 00:20:50,881 --> 00:20:52,380 If what? 378 00:20:52,381 --> 00:20:56,884 Captain, we're asking you to let John X... I mean, Bruno... 379 00:20:56,885 --> 00:20:59,887 go home for his little girl's funeral. 380 00:20:59,887 --> 00:21:01,387 Bruno send you up here? 381 00:21:01,388 --> 00:21:03,389 No, sir. He don't even know about it. 382 00:21:03,390 --> 00:21:05,392 It's just that... well, this is something 383 00:21:05,892 --> 00:21:07,893 that might have happened to any one of us, 384 00:21:07,894 --> 00:21:09,895 and it would mean a lot to the whole crew 385 00:21:09,896 --> 00:21:10,895 if you let him go. 386 00:21:10,896 --> 00:21:13,898 Are you trying to tell me how to run my ship? 387 00:21:13,899 --> 00:21:14,898 No, captain. 388 00:21:14,899 --> 00:21:16,399 Well, then, get back to your duties, 389 00:21:16,399 --> 00:21:17,402 and that's an order! 390 00:21:21,406 --> 00:21:25,408 Tell you what I will do for you, though. 391 00:21:25,909 --> 00:21:28,912 I'll show a movie tonight. How about that? 392 00:21:31,914 --> 00:21:34,915 Anybody wants to see that old movie again, 393 00:21:34,916 --> 00:21:36,417 raise their hand. 394 00:21:40,420 --> 00:21:43,421 I'm a-showing that movie tonight. 395 00:21:43,422 --> 00:21:47,424 And anybody that ain't there is on report! 396 00:21:47,425 --> 00:21:49,429 Get back to your duties! 397 00:22:36,466 --> 00:22:38,967 It's time, Elman. 398 00:22:46,975 --> 00:22:48,477 It's my fault that John Elman 399 00:22:48,978 --> 00:22:50,978 is going to the electric chair tonight. What? 400 00:22:50,979 --> 00:22:53,480 Because I was afraid to let Jimmy tell the truth. 401 00:22:53,481 --> 00:22:54,981 Nancy... you've got to help us. 402 00:22:54,982 --> 00:22:56,482 He had nothing to do with the murder. 403 00:22:56,482 --> 00:22:58,485 Doctor, you've got to do something. 404 00:22:59,986 --> 00:23:02,487 You believe me. 405 00:23:02,488 --> 00:23:06,991 I like this movie better every time I see it. 406 00:23:09,493 --> 00:23:12,495 Hello? Hello?! 407 00:23:14,998 --> 00:23:16,498 Warden's office. 408 00:23:16,499 --> 00:23:19,001 This is the governor speaking. Stop the execution! 409 00:23:19,002 --> 00:23:22,004 Yes, sir! 410 00:23:22,005 --> 00:23:23,504 It's... it's too late, governor. 411 00:23:23,505 --> 00:23:25,506 They've just given him the first jolt. 412 00:23:39,018 --> 00:23:40,519 Movie over? 413 00:23:41,020 --> 00:23:43,020 For me, it is. 414 00:23:43,021 --> 00:23:45,022 What's all that? 415 00:23:45,023 --> 00:23:47,024 Oh, I borrowed a few things from sickbay. 416 00:23:47,025 --> 00:23:49,026 I decided to be a doctor this morning, 417 00:23:49,027 --> 00:23:50,527 so I'm studying anatomy. 418 00:23:50,528 --> 00:23:53,029 What's a "butox," Doc? 419 00:23:53,031 --> 00:23:55,031 A what? 420 00:23:55,031 --> 00:23:56,531 Um... 421 00:23:56,532 --> 00:23:59,535 B-u-t-t-o-c-k-s... "butox." 422 00:24:01,536 --> 00:24:03,037 What's the matter, Doc? You sick? 423 00:24:03,038 --> 00:24:05,538 The captain's enthroned up there, 424 00:24:05,539 --> 00:24:07,540 grinning like a Billiken. 425 00:24:07,541 --> 00:24:11,544 The men are sitting around, hypnotized by despair. 426 00:24:11,544 --> 00:24:18,050 "The skin of the 'butox' is especially sensitive 427 00:24:18,051 --> 00:24:21,553 between..." 428 00:24:25,057 --> 00:24:27,057 Doc... 429 00:24:27,058 --> 00:24:32,061 Remember what you said about me never doing things? 430 00:24:32,061 --> 00:24:35,063 Well, this one I'm going to do. 431 00:24:35,064 --> 00:24:36,564 Look at that. 432 00:24:36,564 --> 00:24:39,567 Lead foil and carpet tacks. 433 00:24:39,567 --> 00:24:43,570 Ol' Pulver's gonna take these up there now 434 00:24:43,571 --> 00:24:47,574 and shoot the captain right in the "butox." 435 00:24:58,583 --> 00:25:01,084 I like the part best where they bring the monster back to life 436 00:25:01,586 --> 00:25:03,086 and then he tries to kill him. 437 00:25:13,095 --> 00:25:15,596 Hey. 438 00:25:15,597 --> 00:25:19,599 Do doctors have audiences just like actors? 439 00:25:19,600 --> 00:25:20,601 Come on. 440 00:25:20,602 --> 00:25:22,102 Scalpel! Scalpel. 441 00:25:22,103 --> 00:25:24,103 Scissors. Scissors. 442 00:25:24,104 --> 00:25:26,606 Stop watching the movie, Frank. 443 00:25:30,110 --> 00:25:31,609 Okay, pops. 444 00:25:31,610 --> 00:25:35,113 Put this up your big fat "butox" and smoke it. 445 00:25:35,113 --> 00:25:37,613 Aah! Aah! 446 00:25:37,615 --> 00:25:40,616 General quarters! Sound the alarm! 447 00:25:40,617 --> 00:25:41,616 Aah! Aah! 448 00:25:50,126 --> 00:25:52,127 Is starboard left or right? 449 00:25:56,631 --> 00:25:57,631 Which way is the 40-millimeter?! 450 00:25:57,632 --> 00:25:59,632 I don't know! Help! 451 00:25:59,633 --> 00:26:01,634 Everybody's got a battle station but me! 452 00:26:05,138 --> 00:26:06,138 Ohh! Oh. 453 00:26:06,139 --> 00:26:08,139 All stations report manned and ready. 454 00:26:08,140 --> 00:26:10,141 Anything wrong, captain? 455 00:26:10,142 --> 00:26:11,642 Hey, where's that medical kit?! 456 00:26:11,643 --> 00:26:13,143 Where is it? There? 457 00:26:13,145 --> 00:26:14,144 Aah! 458 00:26:14,145 --> 00:26:16,647 All hands manned and ready! 459 00:26:16,647 --> 00:26:18,648 Go on, get up! That way! Go that way! 460 00:26:18,649 --> 00:26:21,151 All right, let your pants down. 461 00:26:22,652 --> 00:26:23,652 Which way?! 462 00:26:23,653 --> 00:26:26,155 Go, that's all! Just go! 463 00:26:26,156 --> 00:26:27,655 Where is my battle station?! 464 00:26:27,656 --> 00:26:29,657 I don't know! I can't even find mine! 465 00:26:29,658 --> 00:26:33,160 Radio room manned and ready. 466 00:26:33,162 --> 00:26:35,162 Radio room manned and ready. 467 00:26:35,163 --> 00:26:37,163 What enemy? Where's the enemy? 468 00:26:37,164 --> 00:26:38,665 Number one manned and ready. 469 00:26:38,665 --> 00:26:39,665 Get on that gun there! 470 00:26:39,666 --> 00:26:40,665 Number two manned and ready. 471 00:26:40,666 --> 00:26:42,167 Are we supposed to be here? 472 00:26:42,168 --> 00:26:43,168 We was here last year. 473 00:26:43,169 --> 00:26:44,169 Number three manned and ready. 474 00:26:44,170 --> 00:26:46,671 Where's the trigger?! 475 00:26:46,672 --> 00:26:48,673 Gunnery department manned and ready. 476 00:26:48,674 --> 00:26:50,674 Engine room manned and ready. 477 00:26:50,675 --> 00:26:52,176 Engine room manned and ready. 478 00:26:52,177 --> 00:26:54,177 All stations manned and ready, captain. 479 00:26:58,182 --> 00:26:59,182 What happened, Billings?! 480 00:26:59,682 --> 00:27:01,183 Maybe it's an enemy submarine! 481 00:27:01,185 --> 00:27:02,185 You stupid jerk! 482 00:27:02,685 --> 00:27:04,685 We haven't been within 5,000 miles of a... 483 00:27:04,686 --> 00:27:07,688 what's that?! 484 00:27:07,689 --> 00:27:10,191 Holy crud! Fire! 485 00:27:14,194 --> 00:27:16,196 What's that shooting? 486 00:27:16,197 --> 00:27:19,199 Must be Dr. Hyde killing Frankenstein. 487 00:27:19,200 --> 00:27:21,200 Oh. 488 00:27:21,201 --> 00:27:23,202 Fire! Fire! 489 00:27:26,205 --> 00:27:29,706 Don't fire that gun! That's where I hid my fireworks! 490 00:27:35,212 --> 00:27:38,214 No, no, no, no! 491 00:27:38,215 --> 00:27:39,714 No, don't! 492 00:27:46,221 --> 00:27:50,724 Cease fire! Cease fire! Stop it! 493 00:27:50,724 --> 00:27:52,226 Stop it! 494 00:27:52,226 --> 00:27:54,728 Oh, dear. 495 00:27:56,729 --> 00:27:59,231 Oh, dear. 496 00:28:01,734 --> 00:28:04,734 Aah! 497 00:28:04,735 --> 00:28:06,737 Bring me that microphone, Dolan. 498 00:28:06,738 --> 00:28:08,737 Hey. 499 00:28:08,738 --> 00:28:11,241 Hurry up. Sir. 500 00:28:11,241 --> 00:28:13,741 Now hear this! 501 00:28:13,743 --> 00:28:14,743 Now hear this! 502 00:28:14,744 --> 00:28:17,246 Aah-ho-ho! 503 00:28:17,247 --> 00:28:18,247 Aaah! 504 00:28:18,248 --> 00:28:19,748 Did it break the skin? 505 00:28:19,749 --> 00:28:21,749 I think it's lodged in the brain. 506 00:28:21,750 --> 00:28:23,251 How could it get to the brain? 507 00:28:23,252 --> 00:28:25,252 Oh, that was Dr. Hyde, captain. 508 00:28:25,254 --> 00:28:27,755 Uh, no, it wasn't. It was Dr. Jekyll. 509 00:28:27,755 --> 00:28:31,257 I don't care if it was Harry Truman. 510 00:28:31,258 --> 00:28:31,758 Ohh! 511 00:28:31,758 --> 00:28:33,759 Ohh! Ohh! 512 00:28:33,760 --> 00:28:35,260 Was that iodine? 513 00:28:35,261 --> 00:28:36,760 Iodine? Maybe he stubbed his toe. 514 00:28:36,761 --> 00:28:38,263 Now hear this! 515 00:28:38,264 --> 00:28:40,764 You're going to stay at them battle stations 516 00:28:40,765 --> 00:28:42,266 till someone owns up to this. 517 00:28:42,267 --> 00:28:43,767 What's he talking about? 518 00:28:44,268 --> 00:28:45,269 You're a bunch of cowards! 519 00:28:45,270 --> 00:28:48,272 I'll take off my bars and fight any man on this ship. 520 00:28:48,272 --> 00:28:50,774 What are you doing back there, Doc? 521 00:28:50,775 --> 00:28:51,775 Applying adhesive tape. 522 00:28:52,276 --> 00:28:53,775 I don't like adhesive tape. 523 00:28:53,777 --> 00:28:56,278 Oh. Well, very well. I'll remove it. 524 00:28:56,279 --> 00:28:57,778 Ohh! 525 00:28:57,780 --> 00:28:58,779 What'd you do that for? 526 00:28:58,780 --> 00:29:00,781 Captain, you said, uh... 527 00:29:00,782 --> 00:29:02,283 Never mind what I said! 528 00:29:02,284 --> 00:29:04,784 You're a doctor, and you should know what you're doing! 529 00:29:04,785 --> 00:29:06,286 You're a doctor! 530 00:29:06,287 --> 00:29:07,786 You should know what you're doing! 531 00:29:07,787 --> 00:29:09,288 Who said that?! 532 00:29:09,290 --> 00:29:11,290 Now, you can stop this clowning around 533 00:29:11,291 --> 00:29:13,791 because I'm gonna find out who done this 534 00:29:13,793 --> 00:29:15,794 if it takes me the rest of the year! 535 00:29:15,795 --> 00:29:17,295 Don't make me laugh! 536 00:29:17,296 --> 00:29:18,797 Stop talking back to me! 537 00:29:18,798 --> 00:29:21,298 Now calm down, captain. 538 00:29:21,300 --> 00:29:23,301 Calm down. Those men don't know what happened. 539 00:29:23,301 --> 00:29:24,301 Here, let me have that microphone. 540 00:29:24,302 --> 00:29:27,804 Hello. This is the doctor speaking. 541 00:29:27,805 --> 00:29:32,308 Unfortunately, while our captain was watching the movie, 542 00:29:32,308 --> 00:29:34,809 someone fired a lead-foil pellet 543 00:29:34,810 --> 00:29:38,312 which penetrated deep into his right "butox"... 544 00:29:38,313 --> 00:29:41,315 uh, buttocks. 545 00:29:42,816 --> 00:29:44,817 Hey, did you hear that? 546 00:29:44,818 --> 00:29:46,820 Somebody shot the old man in the duff! 547 00:29:46,821 --> 00:29:48,821 In my opinion, 548 00:29:48,821 --> 00:29:51,823 this wound, although colorful, is not serious. 549 00:29:51,824 --> 00:29:54,326 The great damage is not to the body itself 550 00:29:54,326 --> 00:29:55,327 but to the mind. 551 00:29:55,328 --> 00:30:00,331 Our captain is suffering from a mild form of shock. 552 00:30:00,331 --> 00:30:01,831 Thank you very much. 553 00:30:05,836 --> 00:30:09,337 I don't care if he keeps us at battle stations for a week! 554 00:30:09,339 --> 00:30:11,340 It was worth it! 555 00:30:29,855 --> 00:30:31,856 Now hear this! 556 00:30:31,857 --> 00:30:35,359 Due to the fact that there's a war on 557 00:30:35,360 --> 00:30:36,860 and we got cargo duties, 558 00:30:36,861 --> 00:30:41,364 I'm going to release you from battle stations. 559 00:30:41,865 --> 00:30:43,865 But don't get no fancy ideas. 560 00:30:43,866 --> 00:30:46,369 I got an enemy aboard this ship, 561 00:30:46,370 --> 00:30:47,869 and I'm gonna find out who. 562 00:30:47,870 --> 00:30:53,873 Meanwhile, no privileges. None. 563 00:30:53,875 --> 00:30:57,878 All right, secure from general quarters. 564 00:31:22,400 --> 00:31:23,899 You did it, didn't you? 565 00:31:23,900 --> 00:31:27,902 Oh, no, you don't. 566 00:31:27,903 --> 00:31:28,903 You did it, 567 00:31:28,903 --> 00:31:30,904 and you're just trying to throw me off the track 568 00:31:30,905 --> 00:31:32,406 by saying that I did it. 569 00:31:44,917 --> 00:31:46,418 Quiet! 570 00:31:46,419 --> 00:31:48,919 All right, last chance for the nominations 571 00:31:48,920 --> 00:31:50,422 for the finals tonight. No cheating. 572 00:31:50,422 --> 00:31:53,923 Cast your vote for the great ass assassin. 573 00:31:53,924 --> 00:32:00,429 Ahhhhhhhhh! 574 00:32:08,436 --> 00:32:10,437 Frank, you have performed a miracle! 575 00:32:10,438 --> 00:32:11,937 A miracle! A miracle! 576 00:32:11,938 --> 00:32:14,941 Think so? I've been up all night dissecting this fish. 577 00:32:14,942 --> 00:32:16,442 Fish? What fish? 578 00:32:16,443 --> 00:32:18,445 Frank, we have a united crew for the first time, 579 00:32:18,445 --> 00:32:20,445 and you did it with your little slingshot! 580 00:32:20,446 --> 00:32:21,446 Don't you see? 581 00:32:21,447 --> 00:32:22,948 Everybody thinks everybody else did it, 582 00:32:22,949 --> 00:32:24,948 which means everybody is a hero! 583 00:32:24,949 --> 00:32:26,951 Swear you'll never let anybody know it was you. 584 00:32:26,952 --> 00:32:28,452 Why not? 585 00:32:28,953 --> 00:32:29,952 Morale. 586 00:32:29,954 --> 00:32:31,455 This will keep them busy guessing for months. 587 00:32:31,456 --> 00:32:32,955 Well, what about my morale? 588 00:32:32,956 --> 00:32:35,958 Okay. Blab away. Wave yourself like a flag. 589 00:32:35,959 --> 00:32:38,460 But stop all this doctor nonsense! 590 00:32:38,461 --> 00:32:42,463 A real doctor does good to do good and not for credit! 591 00:32:42,464 --> 00:32:46,967 Okay, I promise. I won't tell anybody. 592 00:32:46,968 --> 00:32:50,971 Frank, you've just passed your first test for medical school. 593 00:32:50,971 --> 00:32:52,472 Of course, if somebody were to guess... 594 00:32:52,472 --> 00:32:53,973 Frank... 595 00:32:57,477 --> 00:33:00,478 Doc, you got to do something about Bruno. 596 00:33:00,479 --> 00:33:03,481 All these other guys are flying high, 597 00:33:03,482 --> 00:33:05,482 but he just sits there alone, 598 00:33:05,483 --> 00:33:06,984 looking at his watch 599 00:33:07,485 --> 00:33:09,985 and asking what time it is in Brooklyn. 600 00:33:09,987 --> 00:33:12,989 And his eyes look kind of funny, Doc. 601 00:33:13,491 --> 00:33:15,491 I'll be right down. 602 00:33:15,492 --> 00:33:17,992 Mr. Pulver, the crew wanted me 603 00:33:17,994 --> 00:33:20,495 to invite you to the finals tonight. 604 00:33:20,495 --> 00:33:24,998 You know, for the great ass-assin. 605 00:33:24,998 --> 00:33:28,001 Gabrowski's got a big crock of jungle juice fermenting. 606 00:33:28,001 --> 00:33:29,502 The great assassin? 607 00:33:29,503 --> 00:33:33,004 Yeah. The mystery man who shot the captain in the duff. 608 00:33:33,005 --> 00:33:34,506 Eight jokers already owned up, 609 00:33:34,507 --> 00:33:36,508 but we don't believe any of them. 610 00:33:36,509 --> 00:33:38,008 So we're gonna vote on it tonight! 611 00:33:38,009 --> 00:33:43,013 Uh, any special reason for inviting me? 612 00:33:43,014 --> 00:33:45,015 A very special reason. 613 00:33:45,016 --> 00:33:49,018 For instance. 614 00:33:49,019 --> 00:33:51,520 For instance, we'd like to have the party in the laundry. 615 00:33:51,521 --> 00:33:53,522 Oh. 616 00:33:53,524 --> 00:33:56,524 Sure. 617 00:33:58,527 --> 00:34:00,027 How about that, huh? 618 00:34:01,028 --> 00:34:03,530 That jungle juice don't look like jungle juice. 619 00:34:04,031 --> 00:34:07,033 It's jungle champagne. It's all grape. 620 00:34:07,034 --> 00:34:09,534 Old fermented grape juice, old raisins, 621 00:34:09,536 --> 00:34:11,035 mildewed grape flakes. 622 00:34:11,036 --> 00:34:13,539 Bicarbonate of soda. 623 00:34:15,040 --> 00:34:19,044 Easy, easy, easy! 624 00:34:22,547 --> 00:34:24,547 Easy, easy, easy! 625 00:34:37,559 --> 00:34:39,561 95%. 626 00:35:06,582 --> 00:35:08,083 Stroke... 627 00:35:08,083 --> 00:35:10,585 Stroke... 628 00:35:10,586 --> 00:35:12,086 Stroke... 629 00:35:12,087 --> 00:35:14,089 Stroke. 630 00:35:40,110 --> 00:35:42,111 Quelle vintage? 631 00:35:50,619 --> 00:35:52,119 All right, you guys, 632 00:35:52,119 --> 00:35:54,120 I'd like to propose a toast 633 00:35:54,122 --> 00:35:56,623 to a great man who is in our midst. 634 00:35:56,623 --> 00:35:58,625 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 635 00:35:58,626 --> 00:36:00,626 Here's to the toughest... 636 00:36:00,627 --> 00:36:02,127 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 637 00:36:02,129 --> 00:36:03,629 Bravest... 638 00:36:03,630 --> 00:36:05,629 The sneakiest... 639 00:36:07,633 --> 00:36:09,634 in fact, the biggest hunk of man on this ship. 640 00:36:10,134 --> 00:36:12,136 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 641 00:36:12,137 --> 00:36:14,638 Lift your cups, everybody. 642 00:36:14,639 --> 00:36:15,640 To the great assassin. 643 00:36:15,640 --> 00:36:19,141 To the great assassin! 644 00:36:29,652 --> 00:36:32,151 Drink to him, Mr. Pulver. He's a better man than you are. 645 00:36:35,656 --> 00:36:38,658 Uh, who will propose a toast to Mr. Pulver, 646 00:36:38,659 --> 00:36:39,659 who lent us the laundry? 647 00:36:40,159 --> 00:36:42,160 I'll do it. 648 00:36:42,161 --> 00:36:43,663 To Mr. Pulver. 649 00:36:43,663 --> 00:36:46,165 Mr. Pulver is... 650 00:36:47,667 --> 00:36:49,667 Mr. Pulver. 651 00:36:52,670 --> 00:36:56,171 And when our shorts come back from the laundry full of holes, 652 00:36:56,172 --> 00:36:58,173 there's a saying on board the ship... 653 00:36:58,174 --> 00:36:59,675 "boy, that sure is Pulverized!" 654 00:37:05,179 --> 00:37:06,681 But as an officer, 655 00:37:06,682 --> 00:37:10,182 I'd have to say that he's probably the most, 656 00:37:10,183 --> 00:37:12,185 uh... Harmless we got on board. 657 00:37:14,188 --> 00:37:15,689 Here's to Mr. Pulver! 658 00:37:15,690 --> 00:37:19,692 To Mr. Pulver! 659 00:37:23,695 --> 00:37:27,197 I want a bike and a train 660 00:37:27,198 --> 00:37:29,699 and skates and a woman! 661 00:37:29,701 --> 00:37:31,200 Sic him, Frank. Sic him. 662 00:37:31,201 --> 00:37:33,201 Careful. Don't let me break your arm. 663 00:37:33,202 --> 00:37:34,202 Oh! 664 00:37:34,204 --> 00:37:36,204 Look, I'm warning you. 665 00:37:36,205 --> 00:37:39,208 Get him, Frankie baby! Frankie boy! 666 00:37:43,713 --> 00:37:48,715 Yee-hee-hee-hee! Whee! 667 00:38:02,227 --> 00:38:06,230 Pipe down! We got the election results! 668 00:38:10,734 --> 00:38:16,238 The identity of the great assassin, 669 00:38:16,239 --> 00:38:20,241 according to the consensus, is... 670 00:38:20,242 --> 00:38:23,744 And will remain... 671 00:38:25,747 --> 00:38:26,746 unknown. 672 00:38:32,751 --> 00:38:36,253 Nobody got more than three votes. 673 00:38:36,254 --> 00:38:37,755 That's why. 674 00:38:39,757 --> 00:38:41,258 See, Frank? They don't want to know. 675 00:38:41,259 --> 00:38:44,261 The following men got three... 676 00:38:44,262 --> 00:38:46,261 Stefanowski... 677 00:38:48,765 --> 00:38:50,265 the Doc... 678 00:38:52,268 --> 00:38:55,269 Mr. Lasueur... Mr. Carney... 679 00:38:55,270 --> 00:38:57,271 Mr. Billings... 680 00:38:57,272 --> 00:38:58,271 Dolan... 681 00:38:58,272 --> 00:39:02,776 Gabrowski! 682 00:39:06,780 --> 00:39:09,280 You want to make a speech, Mr. Pulver? 683 00:39:09,281 --> 00:39:12,784 No! No, just a simple request! 684 00:39:12,785 --> 00:39:15,287 Oh, I hope I'm not putting you to too much trouble! 685 00:39:15,287 --> 00:39:17,788 But it would give me a great deal of pleasure 686 00:39:17,789 --> 00:39:20,290 if you'd kindly let me know how many votes I got! 687 00:39:20,291 --> 00:39:23,794 Oh, sure. 688 00:39:23,795 --> 00:39:26,796 Oh, let's see now, uh... 689 00:39:32,801 --> 00:39:35,803 I don't see your name here, Mr. Pulver. 690 00:39:37,305 --> 00:39:38,304 I guess you didn't get any. 691 00:39:38,306 --> 00:39:40,306 You sure? 692 00:39:42,310 --> 00:39:43,310 Sure. 693 00:39:43,310 --> 00:39:45,310 Then I'd just like to say 694 00:39:45,311 --> 00:39:48,313 that you can all get the hell out of my laundry! 695 00:39:48,314 --> 00:39:50,314 Now! 696 00:39:50,316 --> 00:39:52,316 Get out! 697 00:39:52,317 --> 00:39:53,817 I'm the laundry officer, 698 00:39:53,819 --> 00:39:57,821 and this place is off-limits to all personnel except me! 699 00:39:57,822 --> 00:39:59,322 He's only kidding, fellas. 700 00:39:59,322 --> 00:40:01,323 Oh, no, I'm not! 701 00:40:01,324 --> 00:40:02,825 Now get out of here, all of you! 702 00:40:02,826 --> 00:40:05,328 You ungrateful, conceited idiots! 703 00:40:05,829 --> 00:40:07,328 Get out! 704 00:40:07,329 --> 00:40:09,831 Oh! 705 00:40:14,837 --> 00:40:17,337 Beat it, you drunks! 706 00:40:17,337 --> 00:40:20,840 Before I put you on report. 707 00:40:20,841 --> 00:40:22,340 Come on. 708 00:40:22,342 --> 00:40:25,344 You heard what the officer said! 709 00:40:30,849 --> 00:40:31,849 Frank? 710 00:40:31,849 --> 00:40:33,851 You get out, too, Doc! 711 00:40:35,853 --> 00:40:38,856 Sure, Frank. 712 00:40:55,870 --> 00:40:57,870 You look kind of pale around the gills. 713 00:40:57,872 --> 00:40:59,872 Sure you ain't got no contagious disease? 714 00:40:59,873 --> 00:41:01,373 No, captain. 715 00:41:01,373 --> 00:41:03,875 I just couldn't seem to sleep last night. 716 00:41:03,876 --> 00:41:05,376 Well, since you've got to sign 717 00:41:05,377 --> 00:41:07,377 for those laundry supplies yourself, 718 00:41:07,378 --> 00:41:10,882 I guess I got to let you go over there. 719 00:41:10,883 --> 00:41:11,882 Be back by 1700. 720 00:41:11,883 --> 00:41:14,885 I told the admiral we were shoving off. 721 00:41:14,886 --> 00:41:17,386 Aye, sir. 722 00:41:55,919 --> 00:41:58,421 Some engine. Many planes land here? 723 00:41:58,921 --> 00:42:00,421 Only for refueling. 724 00:42:00,422 --> 00:42:02,422 Like that one. 725 00:42:02,424 --> 00:42:05,926 Probably on the way to the combat zone. 726 00:42:12,432 --> 00:42:13,933 Are you sure it's safe? 727 00:42:14,435 --> 00:42:16,435 There's no Japanese around? 728 00:42:16,435 --> 00:42:17,937 That's a woman. 729 00:42:17,938 --> 00:42:19,438 No, it's not. 730 00:42:19,438 --> 00:42:22,941 Just another batch of army nurses. 731 00:42:22,942 --> 00:42:25,942 Don't get your guts in an uproar. 732 00:42:25,944 --> 00:42:27,945 They only stay for an hour. 733 00:42:27,945 --> 00:42:29,945 What can you do in an hour? 734 00:42:29,946 --> 00:42:31,448 One side. 735 00:42:37,452 --> 00:42:41,456 Careful, careful. Be careful. 736 00:42:43,959 --> 00:42:44,958 What's the matter? 737 00:42:44,959 --> 00:42:47,460 Did you strain something, lieutenant? 738 00:42:47,461 --> 00:42:48,961 Or is it captain? 739 00:42:48,962 --> 00:42:51,464 I never can tell with the marines. 740 00:42:51,465 --> 00:42:53,965 It's navy, and I'm an ensign. 741 00:42:53,967 --> 00:42:54,967 Oh. 742 00:42:54,968 --> 00:42:55,968 But just call me "Doc." 743 00:42:55,968 --> 00:42:57,468 Aw, go on. 744 00:42:57,469 --> 00:43:00,971 Don't tell me you're a doctor, baby-blue eyes. 745 00:43:00,972 --> 00:43:03,474 What are you, an island doctor? 746 00:43:03,474 --> 00:43:05,975 No. I'm over on the ship. 747 00:43:05,977 --> 00:43:06,976 A battleship? 748 00:43:06,977 --> 00:43:08,978 No. Uh... just a can. 749 00:43:08,979 --> 00:43:11,981 That is, a destroyer. 750 00:43:11,982 --> 00:43:12,982 Just a destroyer? 751 00:43:12,983 --> 00:43:15,984 Oh, girl... girls, we're right in the thick of it. 752 00:43:15,985 --> 00:43:19,487 Uh, where do you keep your destroyer? 753 00:43:19,488 --> 00:43:21,989 In the water. 754 00:43:21,991 --> 00:43:25,991 Girls, I want you to meet a combat doctor. 755 00:43:25,992 --> 00:43:27,994 Doctor, these are my girls. 756 00:43:27,995 --> 00:43:30,997 Well, that is, call them my girls. 757 00:43:30,998 --> 00:43:32,998 I'm... I'm the head nurse. 758 00:43:32,998 --> 00:43:37,001 Isn't he sweet to be a doctor on a destroyer? 759 00:43:37,002 --> 00:43:39,003 Well, I'm not the only doctor. 760 00:43:39,004 --> 00:43:41,005 Actually, there are eight of us. 761 00:43:41,006 --> 00:43:43,506 Uh... I'm just in charge of anatomy... 762 00:43:43,507 --> 00:43:45,509 backs and things, stuff like that. 763 00:43:46,010 --> 00:43:50,512 That doesn't look like a destroyer to me. 764 00:43:50,513 --> 00:43:52,014 Oh, that old bucket? 765 00:43:52,014 --> 00:43:54,015 No. No, that's not my ship. 766 00:43:54,017 --> 00:43:56,517 My fleet's over there behind those trees. 767 00:43:56,517 --> 00:44:00,521 Girls, let's go see it. 768 00:44:05,025 --> 00:44:08,526 We didn't expect to see fighting ships this soon. 769 00:44:08,527 --> 00:44:11,030 We just came down to get refueled. 770 00:44:11,030 --> 00:44:12,531 Hey, Sonny! 771 00:44:12,532 --> 00:44:15,533 We're going over to take a look at his can! 772 00:44:15,533 --> 00:44:17,035 Don't stay too long, major! 773 00:44:17,035 --> 00:44:19,036 We got to get you off the ground before dark! 774 00:44:19,037 --> 00:44:20,537 There may be a front moving in! 775 00:44:21,038 --> 00:44:22,540 Yeah, the Japanese are giving us 776 00:44:23,040 --> 00:44:24,040 a rough time around here. 777 00:44:24,041 --> 00:44:25,540 One front after another. 778 00:44:25,541 --> 00:44:27,542 When he said "front," didn't he mean bad weather? 779 00:44:27,543 --> 00:44:28,544 Oh, sure. 780 00:44:29,044 --> 00:44:30,544 Always getting my fronts mixed up. 781 00:44:30,546 --> 00:44:32,546 Mmm, got kind of a nice front yourself. 782 00:44:32,547 --> 00:44:34,047 What's your name? 783 00:44:34,049 --> 00:44:36,050 Uh, I'm called Scotty. 784 00:44:36,550 --> 00:44:38,050 Well, I'm Frank. 785 00:44:38,052 --> 00:44:41,054 Scotty, watch out for Frank. 786 00:44:41,055 --> 00:44:42,556 Remember what they told us 787 00:44:43,057 --> 00:44:46,058 about these sex-starved men in these back areas? 788 00:44:51,063 --> 00:44:53,063 I don't see any fleet. 789 00:44:53,064 --> 00:44:54,566 Neither do I. 790 00:44:56,067 --> 00:44:58,568 Maybe it's farther ahead. 791 00:44:58,569 --> 00:45:00,569 Go on, girls, up the goat path. 792 00:45:00,570 --> 00:45:02,070 That's... yeah, hurry. 793 00:45:07,576 --> 00:45:08,577 Oh, they're gone. 794 00:45:08,577 --> 00:45:11,079 Well, excuse me, but I just had to see you alone. 795 00:45:11,080 --> 00:45:12,080 Why? 796 00:45:12,081 --> 00:45:15,582 Well, I just want to tell you... 797 00:45:15,583 --> 00:45:18,586 What? 798 00:45:20,087 --> 00:45:22,087 Well, not to fall in love with me. 799 00:45:22,088 --> 00:45:24,589 I mean, even sexually. 800 00:45:24,590 --> 00:45:26,591 No matter what I say or do. 801 00:45:26,592 --> 00:45:28,592 I'm not trustworthy. 802 00:45:28,593 --> 00:45:29,593 For instance... 803 00:45:30,095 --> 00:45:31,595 I'm not a doctor. 804 00:45:31,596 --> 00:45:32,596 I never thought you were. 805 00:45:33,097 --> 00:45:34,096 Oh, but that's not all. 806 00:45:34,098 --> 00:45:35,598 There's... there's not even a fleet out there. 807 00:45:35,599 --> 00:45:38,600 I'm on that old bucket... the worst ship in the navy... 808 00:45:38,602 --> 00:45:41,103 and I'm the worst officer on it. 809 00:45:41,104 --> 00:45:42,604 They all think I'm a jerk. 810 00:45:42,605 --> 00:45:44,106 And I am. 811 00:45:44,107 --> 00:45:47,608 Well, ask the crew or my father or my brothers. 812 00:45:47,609 --> 00:45:50,110 Ask anybody! 813 00:45:55,116 --> 00:45:57,615 Why did you pretend you were a doctor? 814 00:45:57,616 --> 00:45:58,618 I don't know. 815 00:46:01,619 --> 00:46:03,621 'Cause that's what I want to be, I guess. 816 00:46:03,622 --> 00:46:06,123 And because I wanted somebody in this lousy world 817 00:46:06,124 --> 00:46:07,624 to think I was important. 818 00:46:07,625 --> 00:46:09,126 What's wrong with that? 819 00:46:09,127 --> 00:46:10,627 Huh? 820 00:46:10,628 --> 00:46:14,130 Well, isn't it important to want to be important? 821 00:46:14,631 --> 00:46:18,133 Look at, um... 822 00:46:18,135 --> 00:46:19,634 Alexander the Great. 823 00:46:19,635 --> 00:46:23,638 He conquered half the world just to show off to his father. 824 00:46:23,638 --> 00:46:25,139 But he still conquered it. 825 00:46:25,139 --> 00:46:28,641 Oh, you mean after everything I told you, 826 00:46:28,642 --> 00:46:31,644 you think I could be a doctor? 827 00:46:31,645 --> 00:46:34,145 By rights, you should be a good one. 828 00:46:34,147 --> 00:46:37,148 You have more people to prove yourself to 829 00:46:37,149 --> 00:46:39,152 than anyone I ever heard of. 830 00:46:39,153 --> 00:46:41,153 You should cash in on that. 831 00:46:41,153 --> 00:46:43,154 My family's in business. 832 00:46:43,155 --> 00:46:47,658 They say the big trick is to turn liabilities into assets. 833 00:46:51,661 --> 00:46:53,662 Don't you dare be nice to be. 834 00:46:53,663 --> 00:46:56,164 I tricked you into getting behind these bushes 835 00:46:56,165 --> 00:46:57,666 and lied to you. 836 00:46:57,666 --> 00:46:59,167 I hope you're not lying now. 837 00:46:59,168 --> 00:47:01,168 Well, no. That's just an accident. 838 00:47:01,169 --> 00:47:02,669 I just... I just got started 839 00:47:02,671 --> 00:47:04,171 telling the truth and I can't stop. 840 00:47:04,172 --> 00:47:05,672 Now don't listen to me. 841 00:47:08,176 --> 00:47:09,176 Oh. 842 00:47:09,676 --> 00:47:13,179 And don't let me make a pass at you, either. 843 00:47:13,180 --> 00:47:15,682 Why not? 844 00:47:16,183 --> 00:47:18,183 Well, because you... 845 00:47:18,184 --> 00:47:20,685 you'd see through my snow job in a second. 846 00:47:20,686 --> 00:47:22,686 How do you know? 847 00:47:22,687 --> 00:47:26,189 Because I was gonna lay it right on the line. 848 00:47:26,191 --> 00:47:28,690 I was gonna give you a hard look, 849 00:47:28,691 --> 00:47:31,693 a blast right in the eyes, like this. 850 00:47:31,694 --> 00:47:34,695 I was gonna say, "Honey, 851 00:47:34,697 --> 00:47:37,698 "you know what a man's for, don't you? 852 00:47:37,699 --> 00:47:40,202 Huh?" 853 00:47:40,202 --> 00:47:44,205 I was gonna say sexy, brutal things like that. 854 00:47:44,206 --> 00:47:47,708 And then I was gonna say... 855 00:47:47,708 --> 00:47:51,710 what's your name again? Uh... Scotty! 856 00:47:51,711 --> 00:47:53,212 I was gonna say, "Scotty, 857 00:47:53,213 --> 00:47:56,713 you're the most beautiful girl I've seen in six months." 858 00:47:56,714 --> 00:47:59,217 Mm. Am I? 859 00:47:59,217 --> 00:48:00,717 Well, more than that. 860 00:48:00,718 --> 00:48:05,221 You're the only girl I've seen in six months. 861 00:48:08,225 --> 00:48:10,726 Then what were you going to do? 862 00:48:10,728 --> 00:48:13,729 I can't remember. 863 00:48:17,732 --> 00:48:20,734 Why did you let me get away with that? 864 00:48:20,735 --> 00:48:22,735 'Cause I like you. 865 00:48:22,736 --> 00:48:24,737 Aww. 866 00:48:24,738 --> 00:48:28,740 You just like me for my liabilities. 867 00:48:28,740 --> 00:48:30,242 Huh? 868 00:48:43,754 --> 00:48:45,254 Aah! 869 00:48:45,255 --> 00:48:46,255 Bruno, take it easy! 870 00:48:46,256 --> 00:48:47,757 Let go! Take it easy. 871 00:48:47,758 --> 00:48:48,757 I ain't getting in no coffin! 872 00:48:48,758 --> 00:48:50,258 Easy. 873 00:48:50,260 --> 00:48:51,759 Bruno, you're having a nightmare! 874 00:48:51,760 --> 00:48:53,261 A nightmare. 875 00:48:56,264 --> 00:48:58,764 Oh, I thought it was... 876 00:48:58,766 --> 00:49:00,266 Oh, thank God. 877 00:49:00,267 --> 00:49:02,768 Here, swallow some of that, Bruno. 878 00:49:02,769 --> 00:49:04,769 No, I ain't going back to sleep ever. 879 00:49:04,770 --> 00:49:07,773 Well, all right, stay awake and stop beefing. 880 00:49:09,275 --> 00:49:11,776 If this ain't a dream, what's that noise? 881 00:49:11,777 --> 00:49:14,278 That's nothing, Bruno. It's just a storm. 882 00:49:14,279 --> 00:49:16,780 Hey, why don't you break out all the seasick medicine? 883 00:49:16,781 --> 00:49:18,781 We're gonna have a busy night below. 884 00:49:18,782 --> 00:49:21,784 Take it easy, Bruno. Come on, get in there. 885 00:49:21,784 --> 00:49:23,285 Attaboy. 886 00:49:23,286 --> 00:49:26,288 Watch your head. 887 00:49:26,289 --> 00:49:27,789 Attaboy. Take it easy. 888 00:49:37,799 --> 00:49:41,300 Here's another. 889 00:49:41,301 --> 00:49:45,304 The hurricane's expected in this area by 2100. 890 00:49:45,304 --> 00:49:47,306 We better stay put tonight. 891 00:49:49,308 --> 00:49:52,310 Don't tell me what to do! 892 00:49:52,311 --> 00:49:55,312 The admiral wants us at Apathy Island in five days, 893 00:49:55,312 --> 00:49:57,814 and we're gonna be there, hurricane or not! 894 00:50:00,316 --> 00:50:02,317 Yes, sir! 895 00:50:12,827 --> 00:50:14,327 Did Bruno take that sedative? 896 00:50:14,329 --> 00:50:17,330 Bruno's not in sickbay, Doc. Didn't you release him? 897 00:50:17,331 --> 00:50:19,332 No. Say, that man's in a bad state. 898 00:50:19,333 --> 00:50:20,833 You better get him back here. 899 00:50:20,833 --> 00:50:22,333 Hello, Payne! Hello, Doc! 900 00:50:22,335 --> 00:50:23,335 Hello, Frank. 901 00:50:23,836 --> 00:50:26,337 Doc, I'm not the same jerk I was last night. 902 00:50:26,338 --> 00:50:27,339 I'm the new Pulver! 903 00:50:28,840 --> 00:50:30,840 What would happen if I went below right now 904 00:50:30,841 --> 00:50:31,841 and apologized to the whole crew? 905 00:50:31,842 --> 00:50:33,343 They'd throw up. 906 00:50:33,344 --> 00:50:35,344 Are they that sore at me? 907 00:50:35,345 --> 00:50:37,347 No, they're seasick. 908 00:50:37,348 --> 00:50:40,849 But I've got to show them I'm different! 909 00:50:40,850 --> 00:50:43,352 I'm not ashamed of being a jerk anymore. 910 00:50:43,353 --> 00:50:45,353 I'm using it. 911 00:50:45,354 --> 00:50:48,356 That's how I'm gonna prod myself into being a doctor... 912 00:50:48,357 --> 00:50:50,356 with my liabilities. 913 00:50:50,358 --> 00:50:52,859 Where the devil is Payne? 914 00:50:52,860 --> 00:50:54,360 Thanks for listening, Doc. 915 00:50:55,362 --> 00:50:58,363 Two days ago, you saved the life of this ship. 916 00:50:58,365 --> 00:51:00,366 Then last night, you cocked out. 917 00:51:00,366 --> 00:51:03,367 There's a Chinese proverb about that. 918 00:51:03,368 --> 00:51:05,369 It says, "if you once save a man's life, 919 00:51:05,370 --> 00:51:07,372 you're responsible for it as long as he lives." 920 00:51:07,373 --> 00:51:10,374 Even if he commits murder, it's you're fault, too. 921 00:51:10,375 --> 00:51:11,875 Yeah? Yes. 922 00:51:11,876 --> 00:51:13,376 So, while you're reforming... 923 00:51:13,876 --> 00:51:15,378 Doc! He's not in the crew's quarters. 924 00:51:15,379 --> 00:51:16,878 What?! 925 00:51:16,879 --> 00:51:18,379 Look, go get dowdy 926 00:51:18,381 --> 00:51:19,881 and tell him to form a detail to search this ship. 927 00:51:19,882 --> 00:51:21,382 That man could anything in the state he's in. 928 00:51:21,383 --> 00:51:23,385 Who? Maybe I better go with you. 929 00:51:23,386 --> 00:51:26,386 But I didn't tell you about Scotty! 930 00:51:26,388 --> 00:51:29,889 I hope her plane's all right in this storm. 931 00:51:38,898 --> 00:51:41,900 We're not making any headway at all, captain! 932 00:51:41,900 --> 00:51:44,402 You just stick to that course and stop beefing. 933 00:51:44,402 --> 00:51:45,902 I'm going to my cabin, 934 00:51:45,903 --> 00:51:47,904 and I don't want to be disturbed once 935 00:51:47,905 --> 00:51:51,408 till reveille tomorrow morning, except an emergency. 936 00:51:58,914 --> 00:52:00,915 Holy crud. 937 00:52:09,423 --> 00:52:10,923 What do you think you're doing? 938 00:52:10,924 --> 00:52:13,926 Bruno, put that gun down and we'll forget all about it. 939 00:52:13,927 --> 00:52:16,928 You've got my word. Just put it there on the desk. 940 00:52:16,928 --> 00:52:18,430 Bruno. 941 00:52:18,431 --> 00:52:21,432 For god's sake, it ain't my fault your kid died. 942 00:52:21,432 --> 00:52:22,933 Bruno. 943 00:52:34,443 --> 00:52:36,444 Bruno, give me back the gun! 944 00:52:36,445 --> 00:52:37,945 Don't worry, captain, it's not loaded. 945 00:52:37,946 --> 00:52:38,946 What?! 946 00:52:38,947 --> 00:52:40,448 It's not loaded! 947 00:52:40,448 --> 00:52:42,951 Why, you... 948 00:52:58,463 --> 00:53:00,464 okay, captain, you're safe now! 949 00:53:00,465 --> 00:53:03,966 Oh, boy! 950 00:53:12,475 --> 00:53:15,477 Hey, somebody down there help me! 951 00:53:15,478 --> 00:53:17,477 Here, get Bruno to the doc, quick! 952 00:53:17,478 --> 00:53:18,480 Yes, sir! 953 00:53:23,484 --> 00:53:26,985 Captain?! It's okay! He's gone! 954 00:53:26,987 --> 00:53:29,487 Captain? 955 00:53:29,488 --> 00:53:31,990 Captain? 956 00:53:34,493 --> 00:53:35,493 Captain! 957 00:53:35,494 --> 00:53:37,496 Help! Man overboard! 958 00:53:41,999 --> 00:53:44,000 Captain, look behind you! 959 00:53:46,503 --> 00:53:49,003 Behind you! 960 00:53:49,004 --> 00:53:51,005 Can't you swim?! 961 00:53:53,007 --> 00:53:56,510 You stupid jerk, you're gonna drown like that! 962 00:53:56,511 --> 00:53:59,012 Oh, I'm gonna hate myself for this. 963 00:54:03,516 --> 00:54:04,517 I feel so stupid. 964 00:55:00,063 --> 00:55:03,063 Where are we? 965 00:55:03,065 --> 00:55:06,567 Well, up the creek, captain, without a paddle. 966 00:55:07,569 --> 00:55:10,572 How much water we got? 967 00:55:11,573 --> 00:55:13,574 Well, enough for about a month, I guess. 968 00:55:13,574 --> 00:55:16,576 I ain't figuring on being out here no month, 969 00:55:16,576 --> 00:55:20,078 not with some young punk that thinks he saved my life. 970 00:55:20,079 --> 00:55:21,579 "Thinks"? 971 00:55:21,580 --> 00:55:23,080 Captain, I not only saved your life, 972 00:55:23,082 --> 00:55:24,582 now I'm responsible for it. 973 00:55:24,583 --> 00:55:27,084 Nobody asked you to jump off that ship! 974 00:55:27,085 --> 00:55:29,085 Stuck out in the middle of the pacific 975 00:55:29,086 --> 00:55:31,588 with a rock around my neck, and I put it there. 976 00:55:31,589 --> 00:55:33,088 Don't worry, mister. 977 00:55:33,089 --> 00:55:36,092 The navy's probably got planes and boats 978 00:55:36,093 --> 00:55:38,594 out searching for us right now. 979 00:55:38,595 --> 00:55:41,096 I could just see that ship, 980 00:55:41,097 --> 00:55:44,599 men running all over the deck, 981 00:55:44,600 --> 00:55:47,602 telescopes, signal flags. 982 00:55:55,108 --> 00:55:57,109 We lose anything in the storm? 983 00:55:57,609 --> 00:55:58,610 Nothing important. 984 00:55:58,612 --> 00:55:59,611 Uh, how's Bruno? 985 00:55:59,612 --> 00:56:01,111 I was with him all night. 986 00:56:01,112 --> 00:56:04,115 He can't remember a thing since 5:00 yesterday. 987 00:56:04,116 --> 00:56:05,116 I got Payne watching him. 988 00:56:05,617 --> 00:56:06,617 Where you going? 989 00:56:06,618 --> 00:56:08,619 To lock horns with the captain again 990 00:56:08,620 --> 00:56:10,119 about getting Bruno a leave. 991 00:56:10,120 --> 00:56:12,622 He gave orders not to be disturbed! 992 00:56:19,128 --> 00:56:22,129 Hey, hey, watch it, Doc. He'll blow a fuse! 993 00:56:22,130 --> 00:56:24,131 My pleasure. 994 00:56:24,131 --> 00:56:25,132 Captain! 995 00:56:27,635 --> 00:56:29,636 Captain, are you awake? 996 00:56:31,138 --> 00:56:32,638 Holy... 997 00:56:36,643 --> 00:56:38,643 His bunk hasn't been slept in. 998 00:56:38,644 --> 00:56:40,646 He wasn't on the bridge all night. 999 00:56:41,146 --> 00:56:42,146 Could he be below? 1000 00:56:42,146 --> 00:56:43,647 We just covered the ship. 1001 00:56:44,149 --> 00:56:47,149 Which brings us to the only happy solution to the problem. 1002 00:56:47,151 --> 00:56:48,150 What's that, Doc? 1003 00:56:48,151 --> 00:56:49,652 He fell overboard. 1004 00:56:52,655 --> 00:56:55,157 Oh! What a sense of humor. 1005 00:56:59,661 --> 00:57:02,161 I can't understand the navy leaving the captain 1006 00:57:02,162 --> 00:57:05,165 of an important vessel sitting out here all this time. 1007 00:57:05,166 --> 00:57:07,668 Sure wouldn't happen in the merchant marine. 1008 00:57:07,669 --> 00:57:09,669 Well, how often did you fall overboard 1009 00:57:09,670 --> 00:57:11,169 in the merchant marine? 1010 00:57:11,170 --> 00:57:12,171 I didn't fall! 1011 00:57:12,172 --> 00:57:14,172 That maniac Bruno tried to kill me. 1012 00:57:14,173 --> 00:57:16,173 When I get back, he'll hang for this. 1013 00:57:16,174 --> 00:57:19,175 Look, a medical handbook and a log. 1014 00:57:19,177 --> 00:57:23,179 I'm gonna put down everything that happens, 1015 00:57:23,180 --> 00:57:24,680 like an experiment. 1016 00:57:24,681 --> 00:57:27,683 I don't need rabbits or Guinea pigs. I got us. 1017 00:57:27,684 --> 00:57:29,184 Guinea pigs?! 1018 00:57:29,184 --> 00:57:31,687 Sure, for the medical profession. 1019 00:57:31,687 --> 00:57:33,688 For posterity. 1020 00:57:33,689 --> 00:57:36,191 For the reader's digest. 1021 00:57:36,192 --> 00:57:38,692 Boy, will my brothers take a back seat. 1022 00:57:41,696 --> 00:57:43,697 I was wrong about the navy. 1023 00:57:43,697 --> 00:57:45,698 Here comes our plane now! 1024 00:57:45,699 --> 00:57:48,701 Yoo-hoo! Here we are! 1025 00:57:48,702 --> 00:57:49,702 Here we are! 1026 00:57:49,702 --> 00:57:52,203 Hey! Here we are! 1027 00:57:52,204 --> 00:57:53,705 Yoo-hoo! 1028 00:57:53,706 --> 00:57:54,705 Sit down, captain! They can't see us! 1029 00:57:54,707 --> 00:57:56,707 Look down, stupid! Here we are! 1030 00:57:56,708 --> 00:57:57,708 They can't see you! 1031 00:57:57,709 --> 00:58:00,209 Aah! 1032 00:58:00,210 --> 00:58:02,712 He's an officer in the United States Navy. 1033 00:58:02,713 --> 00:58:04,214 He couldn't fall overboard! 1034 00:58:04,214 --> 00:58:06,214 Well, he sure ain't on this ship. 1035 00:58:06,215 --> 00:58:09,217 Hey, maybe he was on the raft that blew over last night. 1036 00:58:09,218 --> 00:58:11,219 It's listed on the storm damages. 1037 00:58:11,221 --> 00:58:14,221 Missing... three fire buckets, 1038 00:58:14,222 --> 00:58:17,224 one life raft, one boat hook... 1039 00:58:17,225 --> 00:58:19,225 One captain. 1040 00:58:19,226 --> 00:58:20,727 Somebody must have seen him. 1041 00:58:20,728 --> 00:58:22,728 Did you check with all the officers? 1042 00:58:22,730 --> 00:58:23,729 All except Mr. Pulver. 1043 00:58:23,730 --> 00:58:26,231 Yeah, we're giving him the silent treatment. 1044 00:58:26,232 --> 00:58:28,232 Come on, Billings. Let's get on that radio. 1045 00:58:28,233 --> 00:58:29,734 You notify the navy. I'll notify Frank. 1046 00:58:29,735 --> 00:58:32,736 Who's gonna notify the sharks? 1047 00:58:32,737 --> 00:58:35,239 Frank! 1048 00:58:35,240 --> 00:58:36,741 Frank. 1049 00:58:36,741 --> 00:58:38,241 Frank. 1050 00:58:40,745 --> 00:58:43,246 Have you told the navy the captain's missing? 1051 00:58:43,748 --> 00:58:44,747 Yes. Why? 1052 00:58:44,748 --> 00:58:48,251 Because I got a P.S. for you. 1053 00:58:53,254 --> 00:58:55,254 "It is now the fourth day 1054 00:58:55,256 --> 00:58:59,259 "since the captain began to look truly disgusting. 1055 00:59:02,261 --> 00:59:07,766 "'Sweat'... Uh, " perspiration has temporarily stopped. 1056 00:59:07,767 --> 00:59:08,768 "Could this be due 1057 00:59:09,267 --> 00:59:10,868 "to the malfunction of one of the glands? 1058 00:59:11,270 --> 00:59:12,269 "Perhaps the, uh... 1059 00:59:12,270 --> 00:59:14,771 Sweat gland?" 1060 00:59:14,772 --> 00:59:16,273 Ah. 1061 00:59:16,274 --> 00:59:19,274 Ah. "As for the splotches 1062 00:59:19,275 --> 00:59:22,777 "that broke out on his forehead 1063 00:59:22,779 --> 00:59:27,280 when he ate that ugly-looking fish I caught..." 1064 00:59:27,282 --> 00:59:29,283 Um... 1065 00:59:29,284 --> 00:59:31,284 They're still very pronounced. 1066 00:59:31,285 --> 00:59:33,788 It's more of a purplish color. 1067 00:59:33,789 --> 00:59:36,289 Possibly due to, uh... 1068 00:59:36,290 --> 00:59:38,291 Dead blood. 1069 00:59:40,794 --> 00:59:42,794 "Sometimes he seems delirious. 1070 00:59:42,795 --> 00:59:46,296 "Example... while talking in his sleep, he said, 1071 00:59:46,297 --> 00:59:49,300 "'Kiss me, Aunt Martha, ' in a small, guttural voice. 1072 00:59:49,801 --> 00:59:52,803 "He also made the same request of his cousin Tilly. 1073 00:59:52,804 --> 00:59:54,804 "Now, these are obviously the ravings 1074 00:59:54,805 --> 00:59:56,806 of a very disturbed and dirty mind." 1075 00:59:56,807 --> 00:59:59,307 Stop writing in that book! 1076 00:59:59,308 --> 01:00:01,309 "His voice is growing weaker." 1077 01:00:01,310 --> 01:00:04,813 I can yell louder than you can, you little crud! 1078 01:00:04,813 --> 01:00:07,314 "His irritability is increasing." 1079 01:00:07,316 --> 01:00:10,316 I'm not a little crud, pops! 1080 01:00:10,317 --> 01:00:13,820 My irritability's increasing. 1081 01:00:13,820 --> 01:00:15,321 Stop writing in that book! 1082 01:00:15,322 --> 01:00:17,823 I'm writing facts that may save millions of lives. 1083 01:00:17,824 --> 01:00:20,325 You should be proud... your name's in the title. 1084 01:00:20,326 --> 01:00:21,826 I call it, simply... 1085 01:00:21,827 --> 01:00:23,828 "The death of Captain Morton." 1086 01:00:23,829 --> 01:00:25,329 "The death of..." why, give me that! 1087 01:00:25,330 --> 01:00:27,831 You touch this book, daddy boy, and you'll regret it. 1088 01:00:27,832 --> 01:00:30,833 Those sharks were around this morning while you were asleep, 1089 01:00:30,835 --> 01:00:32,334 and I pulled your hand out of the water. 1090 01:00:32,335 --> 01:00:34,837 I might just forget next time. 1091 01:00:36,840 --> 01:00:38,841 Don't fight it, pops. You're gonna be famous. 1092 01:00:38,842 --> 01:00:41,342 How many guys get a chance to die on paper? 1093 01:00:41,343 --> 01:00:43,344 I am not dying! 1094 01:00:46,848 --> 01:00:49,349 The navy's called off the rescue planes. 1095 01:00:49,349 --> 01:00:52,351 And, Mr. Lasueur, you're still commanding officer. 1096 01:00:54,353 --> 01:00:57,856 Doc, Bruno wants to speak to you. 1097 01:00:57,857 --> 01:01:00,357 Doc, can I go back on duty? 1098 01:01:00,358 --> 01:01:01,859 I got to do something. 1099 01:01:02,361 --> 01:01:05,362 Even a mental nut can work cargo, can't he? 1100 01:01:05,362 --> 01:01:08,865 Wait outside a minute, Bruno. 1101 01:01:08,866 --> 01:01:10,869 You too, shorty. 1102 01:01:16,372 --> 01:01:19,375 Gentlemen, the gods have given this ship a short reprieve. 1103 01:01:19,875 --> 01:01:22,375 By tomorrow morning, the captain may be back aboard. 1104 01:01:22,376 --> 01:01:24,378 But the navy's given them up for lost. 1105 01:01:24,379 --> 01:01:26,378 The navy doesn't know its captain 1106 01:01:26,379 --> 01:01:27,880 from a hole in the ground, 1107 01:01:27,881 --> 01:01:29,381 and you, evidently, don't know Pulver. 1108 01:01:29,382 --> 01:01:31,884 The captain's coming back. I can feel it in my bones. 1109 01:01:32,385 --> 01:01:34,887 And I'm going to bring this ship to life before he does. 1110 01:01:34,888 --> 01:01:37,388 Doc, I never heard you talk like this. 1111 01:01:37,389 --> 01:01:40,891 Oh, yes, you have. I've talked all my life. 1112 01:01:40,892 --> 01:01:43,894 But this time, with your permission, 1113 01:01:43,895 --> 01:01:45,395 old Doc is gonna do something! 1114 01:01:45,896 --> 01:01:46,896 Bruno! 1115 01:01:46,898 --> 01:01:48,397 Bruno! 1116 01:01:48,398 --> 01:01:49,399 Yes, sir. 1117 01:01:49,899 --> 01:01:53,902 Our captain here just told me that he's issuing orders... 1118 01:01:53,902 --> 01:01:55,402 for you to... 1119 01:01:58,406 --> 01:02:02,410 hitch a ride on that plane back to the states 1120 01:02:02,911 --> 01:02:04,351 for a seven-day leave with your wife. 1121 01:02:06,914 --> 01:02:10,416 Well? You heard what the doc said. 1122 01:02:10,918 --> 01:02:11,917 Go pack your gear. 1123 01:02:11,918 --> 01:02:14,419 Oh. 1124 01:02:14,420 --> 01:02:16,420 I'm going home! 1125 01:02:16,421 --> 01:02:18,923 I'm going home! 1126 01:02:20,424 --> 01:02:22,925 Now hear this! Now hear this! 1127 01:02:22,927 --> 01:02:26,928 This is your commanding officer speaking. 1128 01:02:26,930 --> 01:02:29,431 The following changes of orders 1129 01:02:29,431 --> 01:02:32,433 will be strictly and rigidly observed. 1130 01:02:32,434 --> 01:02:36,937 On or about 1400 hours today, 1131 01:02:36,938 --> 01:02:40,941 this ship will leave this island 1132 01:02:40,941 --> 01:02:46,946 and proceed to Elysium island for cargo assignment. 1133 01:02:46,947 --> 01:02:49,448 While in that port, 1134 01:02:49,948 --> 01:02:54,951 all members of this crew will take full advantage 1135 01:02:54,953 --> 01:02:58,955 of the liberty privileges on this island! 1136 01:03:05,462 --> 01:03:08,964 Wearing shirts is not mandatory on deck. 1137 01:03:10,967 --> 01:03:13,467 Swimming hours commence immediately. 1138 01:03:13,467 --> 01:03:14,969 In the meantime, 1139 01:03:14,970 --> 01:03:16,970 get your tails off the deck 1140 01:03:16,971 --> 01:03:19,472 and make hay while the sun shines! 1141 01:03:26,979 --> 01:03:31,483 * Roll me over, give me a beer, and do it again * 1142 01:03:31,984 --> 01:03:35,986 * Roll me over, drunk or sober * 1143 01:03:35,987 --> 01:03:39,488 * Roll me over, give me a beer, and do it again * 1144 01:03:39,490 --> 01:03:43,993 * Oh, this is number two, and I'm drunker now than you * 1145 01:03:44,493 --> 01:03:47,495 * Roll me over, give me a beer, and do it again * 1146 01:03:47,496 --> 01:03:49,997 * Roll me over * 1147 01:03:49,998 --> 01:03:52,499 * Drunk or sober * 1148 01:03:52,500 --> 01:03:56,003 * Roll me over, give me a beer, and do it again * 1149 01:03:56,003 --> 01:04:00,006 * Now this is number three, now we're really on a spree * 1150 01:04:00,007 --> 01:04:03,508 * Roll me over, give me a beer, and do it again * 1151 01:04:03,509 --> 01:04:05,011 So long, fellas! 1152 01:04:05,011 --> 01:04:08,012 * Roll me over, drunk or sober * 1153 01:04:08,013 --> 01:04:11,514 * Roll me over, give me a beer, and do it again * 1154 01:04:11,516 --> 01:04:14,517 * Oh, this is number four * 1155 01:04:14,518 --> 01:04:16,019 * And I'm passed out on the floor * 1156 01:04:16,020 --> 01:04:18,021 Come on! Your boat's leaving! Get going! 1157 01:04:18,022 --> 01:04:20,522 So long! 1158 01:04:20,523 --> 01:04:24,026 * Roll me over, drunk or sober * 1159 01:04:24,026 --> 01:04:28,029 * Roll me over, give me a beer, and do it again * 1160 01:04:28,030 --> 01:04:32,033 * Roll me over, drunk or sober * 1161 01:04:32,034 --> 01:04:35,534 * Roll me over, give me a beer, and do it again * 1162 01:04:35,536 --> 01:04:40,039 * Oh, this is number seven, and I'm sailing up to heaven * 1163 01:04:40,039 --> 01:04:42,540 * Roll me over, give me a beer, and do it again * 1164 01:04:42,541 --> 01:04:46,044 What the hell is happening? 1165 01:04:46,045 --> 01:04:49,545 Metamorphosis. 1166 01:04:49,546 --> 01:04:53,049 Vegetables are turning into men! 1167 01:04:53,050 --> 01:04:56,052 * ...the girls will have to wait * 1168 01:04:56,053 --> 01:04:59,554 * Roll me over, give me a beer, and do it again * 1169 01:04:59,555 --> 01:05:04,059 * Roll me over, drunk or sober * 1170 01:05:04,060 --> 01:05:07,560 * Roll me over, give me a beer, and do it again * 1171 01:05:07,562 --> 01:05:12,065 * Oh, this is number nine, now I'm really feeling fine * 1172 01:05:12,066 --> 01:05:15,567 * Roll me over, give me a beer, and do it again * 1173 01:05:15,568 --> 01:05:19,570 * Roll me over, drunk or sober * 1174 01:05:19,572 --> 01:05:23,074 * Roll me over, give me a beer, and do it again * 1175 01:05:23,075 --> 01:05:27,578 * Oh, this is number 10, and we're starting over again * 1176 01:05:28,079 --> 01:05:31,581 * Roll me over, give me a beer, and do it again * 1177 01:05:31,583 --> 01:05:34,583 * Roll me over * 1178 01:05:34,584 --> 01:05:39,087 * In the clover * 1179 01:05:39,088 --> 01:05:42,589 * Roll me over, give me a beer * 1180 01:05:42,590 --> 01:05:48,094 * And do it again! * 1181 01:05:54,099 --> 01:05:56,601 For the last time, captain, lay off of the water! 1182 01:05:56,602 --> 01:05:59,103 You can have rations when I give them to you, 1183 01:05:59,105 --> 01:06:00,605 and that's an order! 1184 01:06:00,606 --> 01:06:02,106 I'm the captain from now on. 1185 01:06:05,110 --> 01:06:06,609 You little punk. 1186 01:06:06,610 --> 01:06:10,113 You ain't nothing, and you never will be. 1187 01:06:10,613 --> 01:06:13,615 You ain't half the man my son was. 1188 01:06:13,616 --> 01:06:16,117 You know what happened to him? 1189 01:06:16,118 --> 01:06:18,619 Got a fancy job, saved his money, 1190 01:06:18,620 --> 01:06:22,622 and bought a house and tried to give it to me to retire in. 1191 01:06:22,623 --> 01:06:24,624 You know what I done? 1192 01:06:24,625 --> 01:06:26,626 Picked him up by the scruff of the neck 1193 01:06:26,626 --> 01:06:28,627 and throwed him out through the door. 1194 01:06:28,628 --> 01:06:30,629 You never told me you had a son. 1195 01:06:30,630 --> 01:06:33,132 I ain't got no son! I throwed him out! 1196 01:06:33,133 --> 01:06:35,633 That's what I'll do to you, too. 1197 01:06:35,635 --> 01:06:39,636 You try to give me rations like they was a handout... 1198 01:06:39,637 --> 01:06:41,638 Don't you threaten me, pops. 1199 01:06:41,639 --> 01:06:48,144 I was tougher than you are when I was 7 years old. 1200 01:06:48,144 --> 01:06:51,646 My mother used to work as... 1201 01:06:51,647 --> 01:06:53,147 As a chambermaid 1202 01:06:53,148 --> 01:06:57,151 for a guy who thought he could give me things. 1203 01:06:57,151 --> 01:06:59,152 He offered me toys 1204 01:06:59,154 --> 01:07:03,656 so I wouldn't squeal on him to his wife. 1205 01:07:03,658 --> 01:07:07,159 One morning, he came out of my mother's room, 1206 01:07:07,160 --> 01:07:08,161 and he said, 1207 01:07:08,162 --> 01:07:11,162 "here's a little sailboat for you, kid." 1208 01:07:11,164 --> 01:07:13,664 Say, "please, sir. Thank you, sir." 1209 01:07:13,665 --> 01:07:16,666 "No, you can't have it till you say please." 1210 01:07:16,667 --> 01:07:21,671 Then my mother came out, knelt down, and whispered... 1211 01:07:21,672 --> 01:07:25,174 she said, "for the love of god, honey, 1212 01:07:25,674 --> 01:07:29,678 say 'please' or mama will lose her job." 1213 01:07:29,678 --> 01:07:32,681 I kicked him in the shins, 1214 01:07:32,681 --> 01:07:37,684 run upstairs, and told it all to his wife. 1215 01:07:37,685 --> 01:07:40,687 And he threw me and my mother and what few things we had 1216 01:07:40,688 --> 01:07:43,188 right out in the middle of the street. 1217 01:07:43,190 --> 01:07:48,193 Standing there, holding on to my mother's hand, 1218 01:07:48,194 --> 01:07:53,197 I decided I was gonna become so important 1219 01:07:53,197 --> 01:07:55,698 that I'd never have to say "please" 1220 01:07:55,700 --> 01:07:58,701 or "thank you" to no living soul. 1221 01:07:58,702 --> 01:08:01,204 Then I went to sea and worked like a dog 1222 01:08:01,205 --> 01:08:03,706 and finally done all right for myself. 1223 01:08:03,707 --> 01:08:10,211 War come along and made me more important. 1224 01:08:10,212 --> 01:08:12,713 Never got no sailboat, but... 1225 01:08:12,714 --> 01:08:15,215 I got me a ship. 1226 01:08:15,216 --> 01:08:19,718 And a commander's cap a-waiting for me. 1227 01:08:19,719 --> 01:08:23,221 Think you're tough? 1228 01:08:23,223 --> 01:08:26,724 Think you can give me orders? 1229 01:08:26,725 --> 01:08:30,228 You wait, pops. We'll see who's tough. 1230 01:08:30,229 --> 01:08:32,730 You can have a swig of water now. 1231 01:08:32,731 --> 01:08:35,733 I don't need it now. 1232 01:08:38,235 --> 01:08:42,737 My wife left me and... and then... 1233 01:08:42,738 --> 01:08:44,740 Keep talking. 1234 01:08:44,740 --> 01:08:46,740 I can't. 1235 01:08:46,741 --> 01:08:48,743 Yes, you can. 1236 01:08:48,744 --> 01:08:51,744 Think about nice things. 1237 01:08:51,746 --> 01:08:52,745 Think about women. 1238 01:08:54,248 --> 01:08:56,748 Like the day my teacher caught... 1239 01:08:56,749 --> 01:09:00,253 caught the girl at the desk in front of me 1240 01:09:00,254 --> 01:09:03,255 rubbing my leg with a big eraser. 1241 01:09:03,257 --> 01:09:06,257 It wasn't my fault. 1242 01:09:06,258 --> 01:09:08,759 They was all loose women. 1243 01:09:08,760 --> 01:09:09,760 All of them. 1244 01:09:09,760 --> 01:09:10,760 Who, the art teacher? 1245 01:09:10,761 --> 01:09:12,763 No. 1246 01:09:12,763 --> 01:09:16,766 The neighbor women after my wife left. 1247 01:09:16,767 --> 01:09:20,769 They kept winking at me and... 1248 01:09:20,770 --> 01:09:23,770 Getting me all stirred up, and then... 1249 01:09:23,772 --> 01:09:27,274 And they blamed me for what happened. 1250 01:09:27,775 --> 01:09:30,278 Someday, I'm gonna... 1251 01:09:30,278 --> 01:09:32,279 Go back to that town sober, 1252 01:09:32,280 --> 01:09:35,281 and I'm gonna show them a thing or two. 1253 01:09:35,283 --> 01:09:38,283 I thought... I thought you told me you never took a drop. 1254 01:09:38,284 --> 01:09:41,286 Stop spying on me. 1255 01:09:41,287 --> 01:09:42,786 Are you afraid of drink, captain? 1256 01:09:42,787 --> 01:09:47,290 I'm not afraid of drinking or leching... 1257 01:09:47,292 --> 01:09:48,292 Or any kind of weakness. 1258 01:09:48,293 --> 01:09:50,293 Give me that book! 1259 01:09:50,294 --> 01:09:51,793 Give me that... 1260 01:09:51,795 --> 01:09:53,796 Give me that book! 1261 01:09:53,797 --> 01:09:55,297 Ohh! 1262 01:10:03,806 --> 01:10:08,808 "An interesting turn of events. 1263 01:10:08,809 --> 01:10:10,809 "The captain... 1264 01:10:10,810 --> 01:10:15,313 "Is a compulsive woman-chaser. 1265 01:10:15,315 --> 01:10:18,316 "That's why he won't touch liquor. 1266 01:10:18,317 --> 01:10:20,818 He's afraid of his feelings." 1267 01:10:57,849 --> 01:11:00,851 Wake up, pops! 1268 01:11:00,852 --> 01:11:02,854 We're dead! 1269 01:11:07,358 --> 01:11:10,359 Unh! Ohh! 1270 01:11:15,365 --> 01:11:17,865 [ Speaking native language ] 1271 01:11:25,872 --> 01:11:27,872 Kava. 1272 01:11:27,874 --> 01:11:29,875 "Kava"? 1273 01:11:29,876 --> 01:11:31,376 [ Speaks native language ] 1274 01:11:31,378 --> 01:11:34,379 You sure that stuff's not poison? 1275 01:11:34,380 --> 01:11:35,879 You're not friendly with the Japanese or anything, are you? 1276 01:11:35,881 --> 01:11:37,881 Where is this island, anyway? 1277 01:11:37,882 --> 01:11:39,383 Gramus. 1278 01:11:39,385 --> 01:11:40,384 Gramus. 1279 01:11:40,385 --> 01:11:42,385 Okay, boys. 1280 01:11:42,386 --> 01:11:45,389 Gramus. Gramus. Gramus. 1281 01:11:48,391 --> 01:11:49,891 Holy crud! 1282 01:11:49,892 --> 01:11:52,394 What do you ferment? People? 1283 01:11:52,395 --> 01:11:54,395 You make stronger jungle juice 1284 01:11:54,396 --> 01:11:56,396 than they did on the ship, honey. 1285 01:11:56,397 --> 01:11:57,898 Oh, um... 1286 01:11:57,899 --> 01:12:02,902 Ma'am, do you have a boat around here? 1287 01:12:02,903 --> 01:12:05,404 Um, boat. 1288 01:12:05,405 --> 01:12:07,906 No. Uh... 1289 01:12:07,907 --> 01:12:10,909 We got to get back to our ship. 1290 01:12:13,412 --> 01:12:15,412 No, stop that. Um... 1291 01:12:15,414 --> 01:12:18,414 My fat friend is sick. 1292 01:12:18,415 --> 01:12:20,917 "Friend"? What am I saying? 1293 01:12:20,918 --> 01:12:22,418 [ Shouting in native language ] 1294 01:12:26,922 --> 01:12:29,925 Jesus want me for a sunbeam 1295 01:12:29,925 --> 01:12:32,927 to shine for him each day. 1296 01:12:32,927 --> 01:12:34,429 Ah. 1297 01:12:34,429 --> 01:12:37,430 Apples bright, apples are rosy and red, 1298 01:12:37,431 --> 01:12:41,434 but turned into cider are humble instead. 1299 01:12:41,435 --> 01:12:43,935 Me father learn from missionary. 1300 01:12:43,937 --> 01:12:44,936 Me teach her. 1301 01:12:44,937 --> 01:12:47,939 Apples bright... loga! 1302 01:12:47,940 --> 01:12:50,940 You swim all way from airplane? 1303 01:12:50,941 --> 01:12:53,943 Airplane? Where? 1304 01:12:53,944 --> 01:12:55,946 Over there. 1305 01:13:13,961 --> 01:13:15,961 It must have ditched in the storm. 1306 01:13:15,963 --> 01:13:16,963 It didn't crash. 1307 01:13:16,963 --> 01:13:17,963 Ah. 1308 01:13:17,964 --> 01:13:19,465 All the life rafts seem to be gone. 1309 01:13:19,467 --> 01:13:21,467 You sure there's no American soldiers around here? 1310 01:13:21,467 --> 01:13:22,467 No. 1311 01:13:22,468 --> 01:13:23,467 Who lives on that island? 1312 01:13:23,469 --> 01:13:25,970 Wild pigs. 1313 01:13:27,473 --> 01:13:28,474 Loga! 1314 01:13:28,475 --> 01:13:30,975 Can pigs build fires? Huh? 1315 01:13:33,978 --> 01:13:35,478 Come on. 1316 01:13:38,982 --> 01:13:41,984 Now, come on... one side, girls. 1317 01:13:41,985 --> 01:13:44,486 Mother has work to do. 1318 01:13:44,487 --> 01:13:47,489 Come on, babies. 1319 01:13:50,990 --> 01:13:52,492 Scotty! 1320 01:13:53,993 --> 01:13:57,497 Scotty. 1321 01:13:57,498 --> 01:13:58,998 Is that a... a boat? 1322 01:14:02,501 --> 01:14:06,003 Be careful! They may be fierce savages! 1323 01:14:06,004 --> 01:14:11,508 Anybody here?! We saw your fires and... 1324 01:14:11,509 --> 01:14:12,510 oh, no. 1325 01:14:18,013 --> 01:14:20,014 Oh, yes! 1326 01:14:20,016 --> 01:14:22,016 Scotty! Ha ha! 1327 01:14:22,016 --> 01:14:24,017 It's Frank! 1328 01:14:26,020 --> 01:14:29,024 Scotty! 1329 01:14:32,025 --> 01:14:34,527 For crying out loud. 1330 01:14:34,528 --> 01:14:37,029 Oh, no, no. Impossible. 1331 01:14:37,030 --> 01:14:38,530 It's too grotesque. 1332 01:14:38,531 --> 01:14:41,032 Hiya, buster. Welcome to paradise island. 1333 01:14:41,534 --> 01:14:43,534 Now, what can we do for you? 1334 01:14:43,535 --> 01:14:45,035 "We"? 1335 01:14:45,036 --> 01:14:48,037 Sure. Me and my girl here. 1336 01:14:48,039 --> 01:14:52,042 Me Tarzan, her Jane. 1337 01:14:53,042 --> 01:14:55,544 Me cheeta. 1338 01:14:55,545 --> 01:14:59,046 We saw the other nurses being picked up by a ship. 1339 01:14:59,047 --> 01:15:02,049 The storm was so heavy, they couldn't see us. 1340 01:15:02,050 --> 01:15:04,052 And there were no more rubber rafts. 1341 01:15:04,553 --> 01:15:07,554 And I don't know... if it wasn't for stretch here... 1342 01:15:07,555 --> 01:15:09,556 Gee, we owe our lives to you. 1343 01:15:09,557 --> 01:15:11,557 Stretch is really remarkable. 1344 01:15:11,558 --> 01:15:13,558 You should see how he ditched the plane 1345 01:15:13,559 --> 01:15:15,060 in the middle of a hurricane. 1346 01:15:15,060 --> 01:15:16,561 Stop bragging about me. 1347 01:15:17,062 --> 01:15:19,563 I still haven't got this radio to work. 1348 01:15:19,565 --> 01:15:21,565 Hey, wasn't there a Pulver with me 1349 01:15:21,566 --> 01:15:24,066 in the all-American lineup a couple years back? 1350 01:15:24,068 --> 01:15:25,568 Yeah, there were two of them, 1351 01:15:26,069 --> 01:15:27,571 and they're both my brothers. 1352 01:15:27,573 --> 01:15:28,572 Your brothers? 1353 01:15:28,573 --> 01:15:30,573 Those two bruisers? 1354 01:15:30,574 --> 01:15:31,575 Aw, come on. 1355 01:15:34,577 --> 01:15:37,579 Mayday! Mayday! 1356 01:15:37,580 --> 01:15:38,579 This is 8-0. 1357 01:15:38,580 --> 01:15:40,080 Do you read me, over? 1358 01:15:40,081 --> 01:15:42,083 8-0, I read you, over. 1359 01:15:42,584 --> 01:15:45,083 We made contact! Get over here, Pulver! 1360 01:15:45,085 --> 01:15:46,586 Come on! On the double! 1361 01:15:46,587 --> 01:15:48,588 This is Captain Donald Zimmer. 1362 01:15:48,588 --> 01:15:50,589 There are five of us marooned on this island. 1363 01:15:50,590 --> 01:15:52,591 I can't give you the exact location, 1364 01:15:52,592 --> 01:15:54,592 although it should be approximately... 1365 01:15:54,592 --> 01:15:57,095 3 degrees 17 minutes south latitude. 1366 01:15:57,096 --> 01:15:58,596 Stop poking me! 1367 01:15:59,096 --> 01:16:00,097 I'm trying to find out something. 1368 01:16:00,099 --> 01:16:02,599 158 degrees east longitude. 1369 01:16:02,600 --> 01:16:05,101 Ohh! 1370 01:16:05,102 --> 01:16:07,102 What are you trying to do? 1371 01:16:07,103 --> 01:16:09,105 Temper, poopsy, temper. 1372 01:16:09,106 --> 01:16:10,606 Did you say 1-5-8? 1373 01:16:10,606 --> 01:16:12,106 Uh-huh. Yeah, that's right. 1374 01:16:12,107 --> 01:16:15,609 Scotty, I'm afraid it's what we thought it was. 1375 01:16:15,611 --> 01:16:17,110 Oh, no. Stretch, 1376 01:16:17,111 --> 01:16:19,112 tell them to send a doctor, quick! 1377 01:16:19,113 --> 01:16:21,614 Find out if there's a ship in this area or a seaplane. 1378 01:16:21,615 --> 01:16:22,616 There's no airstrip. 1379 01:16:22,616 --> 01:16:24,617 No, the sea's too rough. It'll have to be a ship. 1380 01:16:24,618 --> 01:16:26,619 Tell them to get a doctor here at once. 1381 01:16:26,620 --> 01:16:28,621 We have a man who needs immediate attention. 1382 01:16:28,622 --> 01:16:31,122 Will the doctor please report 1383 01:16:31,123 --> 01:16:32,625 to the radio shack immediately? 1384 01:16:32,625 --> 01:16:34,625 Will the doctor please report 1385 01:16:34,626 --> 01:16:36,126 to the radio shack immediately? 1386 01:16:36,127 --> 01:16:38,129 On the double, Doc! 1387 01:16:40,631 --> 01:16:43,132 Stand by. Here he comes. 1388 01:16:45,134 --> 01:16:47,135 Hello, Bruno. How was your leave? 1389 01:16:47,136 --> 01:16:48,637 Boy... I can't talk to you now, Doc. 1390 01:16:49,137 --> 01:16:50,138 Here he is. 1391 01:16:50,139 --> 01:16:51,639 Come on, Doc. Sit down. 1392 01:16:51,640 --> 01:16:53,140 What? 1393 01:16:53,141 --> 01:16:54,642 Hello, Doc? 1394 01:16:54,643 --> 01:16:56,145 Well, go on... answer it. 1395 01:16:58,145 --> 01:16:59,146 Hello, who... 1396 01:16:59,147 --> 01:17:00,647 no, no, no., hererehe. 1397 01:17:02,649 --> 01:17:04,651 Oh. 1398 01:17:04,652 --> 01:17:06,151 Hello. Who's speaking? 1399 01:17:06,152 --> 01:17:09,154 Well, what do you know? Hiya, Doc! This is me! 1400 01:17:09,155 --> 01:17:10,154 Who? 1401 01:17:10,155 --> 01:17:11,655 Me, Frank! 1402 01:17:11,657 --> 01:17:15,158 Frank? 1403 01:17:15,159 --> 01:17:16,660 Pulver! 1404 01:17:16,660 --> 01:17:22,665 Holy... fr... Frank, where are you? 1405 01:17:22,666 --> 01:17:24,165 We're on this pig island! 1406 01:17:24,166 --> 01:17:26,669 Commser Force put us in contact with you. 1407 01:17:26,670 --> 01:17:28,671 You must be somewhere in the area 1408 01:17:28,671 --> 01:17:30,671 but not close enough to get here. 1409 01:17:30,672 --> 01:17:33,174 The head nurse says it's an emergency, see? 1410 01:17:33,174 --> 01:17:35,174 The captain has acute appendicitis. 1411 01:17:35,175 --> 01:17:36,677 We have some equipment here, 1412 01:17:36,678 --> 01:17:38,678 but... but we haven't got a doctor. 1413 01:17:38,679 --> 01:17:39,678 What should we do? 1414 01:17:39,680 --> 01:17:41,681 Isn't the navy sending any help? 1415 01:17:41,682 --> 01:17:42,681 Yes, but she says somebody 1416 01:17:42,682 --> 01:17:44,183 has to operate on him right away. 1417 01:17:44,683 --> 01:17:45,684 There's danger of periton... 1418 01:17:45,685 --> 01:17:47,184 you know! 1419 01:17:47,185 --> 01:17:48,185 ...tonitis. 1420 01:17:48,186 --> 01:17:49,186 Well, she'll just have to do it. 1421 01:17:49,187 --> 01:17:51,688 She can't. She's got a broken arm. 1422 01:17:51,690 --> 01:17:53,189 Who else is there? 1423 01:17:53,190 --> 01:17:54,190 Another nurse. 1424 01:17:54,191 --> 01:17:55,272 She'll help, but that's all. 1425 01:17:55,694 --> 01:17:57,193 Then there's this pilot. What about him? 1426 01:17:57,194 --> 01:17:59,696 Well, he doesn't approve of surgery. 1427 01:17:59,697 --> 01:18:01,698 He says it can be fixed by exercise. 1428 01:18:03,700 --> 01:18:06,200 Anybody else? 1429 01:18:06,201 --> 01:18:07,201 Me. 1430 01:18:11,706 --> 01:18:13,206 Doc, you still there? 1431 01:18:13,207 --> 01:18:16,709 Uh, yes, Frank. 1432 01:18:16,710 --> 01:18:18,210 Doc, I figured you and me 1433 01:18:18,211 --> 01:18:20,712 might try it together if we could just... 1434 01:18:20,713 --> 01:18:22,714 if we could just keep radio contact. 1435 01:18:22,715 --> 01:18:25,215 I've got a whole surgical kit from their plane, 1436 01:18:25,216 --> 01:18:26,218 except for ether. 1437 01:18:26,218 --> 01:18:28,218 Well, the cans got punctured. 1438 01:18:28,220 --> 01:18:31,222 Then you'll just have to get him drunk. 1439 01:18:34,224 --> 01:18:35,725 Frank, are you still there? 1440 01:18:35,727 --> 01:18:37,727 I said, "get him drunk." 1441 01:18:37,727 --> 01:18:41,229 That's what I thought you said, Doc. 1442 01:18:41,230 --> 01:18:43,231 Oh, boy. 1443 01:18:53,741 --> 01:18:56,743 Hey! What are all these people doing here? 1444 01:18:56,744 --> 01:18:57,743 Many people come! 1445 01:18:57,744 --> 01:18:59,745 Bring special gift from chief. 1446 01:18:59,746 --> 01:19:01,246 Oldest kava on the island. 1447 01:19:01,247 --> 01:19:02,246 Loga! 1448 01:19:02,247 --> 01:19:04,248 Very strong. What's in it? 1449 01:19:04,249 --> 01:19:07,751 First, we put in many dead things from the sea... 1450 01:19:07,753 --> 01:19:10,253 fish heads, fish guts, frog. 1451 01:19:10,254 --> 01:19:12,756 Then we leave in sand long time. 1452 01:19:12,757 --> 01:19:14,757 Aha! 1453 01:19:14,757 --> 01:19:16,257 Smell. 1454 01:19:17,760 --> 01:19:21,763 Hey. Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. 1455 01:19:21,764 --> 01:19:23,765 More bad, more good. 1456 01:19:24,265 --> 01:19:26,267 Also, a special herb kill pain. 1457 01:19:26,268 --> 01:19:28,268 Feel nothing at all in body. 1458 01:19:28,269 --> 01:19:29,769 What are you talking about over there? 1459 01:19:30,270 --> 01:19:31,771 Get it ready. 1460 01:19:31,773 --> 01:19:34,272 Yeah. I think he'll need about three of these. 1461 01:19:34,273 --> 01:19:36,274 Three, hon. Three. 1462 01:19:36,276 --> 01:19:39,276 You think you're gonna cut me open, don't you, mister? 1463 01:19:39,277 --> 01:19:40,779 Yes, captain. 1464 01:19:40,780 --> 01:19:42,780 Well, I got something to say about that. 1465 01:19:42,780 --> 01:19:44,281 No, you don't. You just lie there and shut up. 1466 01:19:44,282 --> 01:19:45,782 And stay alive. 1467 01:19:45,783 --> 01:19:46,784 Boy, if you die on me, you'll live to regret it! 1468 01:19:47,283 --> 01:19:51,286 You talk big, mister. But you're scared. 1469 01:19:51,287 --> 01:19:53,287 So are you, and you better be. 1470 01:19:53,288 --> 01:19:54,790 This is a very dangerous thing! 1471 01:19:54,791 --> 01:19:56,792 Then what makes you think you can do it? 1472 01:19:56,793 --> 01:19:59,293 You might kill me. Did you ever think about that? 1473 01:19:59,294 --> 01:20:01,295 Well, that's just the chance we've got to take. 1474 01:20:01,296 --> 01:20:03,797 You're the miserable monster of the world, captain, 1475 01:20:03,799 --> 01:20:05,299 but you're my responsibility. 1476 01:20:05,800 --> 01:20:07,300 Like it or not. 1477 01:20:16,809 --> 01:20:19,811 [ Man shouting in native language ] 1478 01:20:26,317 --> 01:20:28,317 What is it? What's going on here? 1479 01:20:28,318 --> 01:20:31,320 It's a lovely party with coconut punch and everything. 1480 01:20:31,320 --> 01:20:34,322 Look, just like they serve at don the beachcomber's. 1481 01:20:34,322 --> 01:20:35,824 Here, you even have a gardenia. 1482 01:20:35,825 --> 01:20:37,325 Now, you keep smelling that. 1483 01:20:37,325 --> 01:20:38,825 Is there any liquor in it? 1484 01:20:38,826 --> 01:20:41,828 Where would these innocent natives find liquor? 1485 01:20:46,833 --> 01:20:51,335 It's got lovely herbs and things to keep you from hurting. 1486 01:20:52,337 --> 01:20:54,338 Now open your mouth, close your eyes. 1487 01:20:54,339 --> 01:20:55,840 We'll all be in for a big surprise. 1488 01:20:55,842 --> 01:20:56,842 Come on. 1489 01:20:57,342 --> 01:20:58,843 Keep your clammy hands off me. 1490 01:20:58,844 --> 01:21:01,345 Then open your big fat mouth. 1491 01:21:10,853 --> 01:21:12,855 Did you say something? 1492 01:21:14,856 --> 01:21:17,858 It tastes like dead frogs. 1493 01:21:17,859 --> 01:21:19,859 That's what it is. 1494 01:21:19,860 --> 01:21:20,862 You need a little more. 1495 01:21:23,362 --> 01:21:24,864 More. Hi! 1496 01:21:24,865 --> 01:21:26,365 Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! 1497 01:21:26,366 --> 01:21:28,366 Hi! 1498 01:21:28,368 --> 01:21:29,366 Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! 1499 01:21:29,368 --> 01:21:29,869 Hi! 1500 01:21:29,870 --> 01:21:31,869 Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! 1501 01:21:31,871 --> 01:21:33,370 Hi! 1502 01:21:33,371 --> 01:21:34,372 Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! 1503 01:21:34,373 --> 01:21:35,372 Hi! 1504 01:21:35,373 --> 01:21:36,874 Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! 1505 01:21:36,875 --> 01:21:38,374 Hi! 1506 01:21:38,375 --> 01:21:39,375 Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! 1507 01:21:39,376 --> 01:21:40,376 Hi! 1508 01:21:40,377 --> 01:21:41,377 Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! 1509 01:21:41,378 --> 01:21:42,378 Hi! 1510 01:21:46,381 --> 01:21:47,882 What is it, Frank? 1511 01:21:47,883 --> 01:21:50,885 Did you hear the way he was yelling at me, 1512 01:21:50,885 --> 01:21:51,885 the old goat? 1513 01:21:51,886 --> 01:21:53,387 He was just testing you, Frank. 1514 01:21:53,388 --> 01:21:55,389 He doesn't think I can do it. 1515 01:21:55,389 --> 01:21:56,890 Well, nobody does. 1516 01:21:56,891 --> 01:22:00,894 There isn't anybody around here who thinks I can! 1517 01:22:00,894 --> 01:22:03,395 Well, aren't you gonna say you think I can do it? 1518 01:22:03,396 --> 01:22:05,397 No. I'm not going to say that. 1519 01:22:05,397 --> 01:22:09,901 It doesn't matter what anybody thinks... or feels. 1520 01:22:09,901 --> 01:22:10,903 Except you. 1521 01:22:20,911 --> 01:22:22,911 Is Doc on? 1522 01:22:22,912 --> 01:22:23,912 I'm here, Frank. 1523 01:22:23,914 --> 01:22:26,915 We're just about all set here. How you feeling, Doc? 1524 01:22:26,916 --> 01:22:29,417 In all honesty, not so good, Frank. 1525 01:22:29,418 --> 01:22:32,418 How's he, uh, taking the anesthetic? 1526 01:22:32,420 --> 01:22:33,921 Just a minute. 1527 01:22:33,922 --> 01:22:36,923 Couldn't you and me go someplace quiet? 1528 01:22:36,924 --> 01:22:40,425 You know, you are absolutely pagan? 1529 01:22:40,427 --> 01:22:42,427 Madam? Mm? 1530 01:22:42,427 --> 01:22:44,428 Would you be kind enough 1531 01:22:44,430 --> 01:22:48,432 to squeeze me some more of that frog juice? 1532 01:22:48,433 --> 01:22:50,934 Hold your horses, Bacchus. 1533 01:22:50,935 --> 01:22:51,934 Does that hurt? 1534 01:22:51,936 --> 01:22:53,938 I can't tell yet. 1535 01:22:53,938 --> 01:22:57,440 Do it around some other places. 1536 01:23:00,944 --> 01:23:03,945 The patient is ready, doctor. 1537 01:23:03,947 --> 01:23:06,948 Okay, Doc, he's crocked. 1538 01:23:06,949 --> 01:23:08,950 Here we go. 1539 01:23:14,954 --> 01:23:16,455 Good lord. 1540 01:23:16,456 --> 01:23:18,957 I have a bigger audience than young Dr. Jekyll. 1541 01:23:20,960 --> 01:23:24,462 Now hear this! 1542 01:23:24,464 --> 01:23:26,964 The captain just took the painkiller. 1543 01:23:26,965 --> 01:23:29,467 It's some kind of native concoction. 1544 01:23:29,467 --> 01:23:31,467 Okay, we'll let you listen in. 1545 01:23:31,468 --> 01:23:34,470 Good luck. 1546 01:23:34,471 --> 01:23:36,972 Good luck, Frank. 1547 01:23:36,973 --> 01:23:39,974 Yes, good luck. 1548 01:23:39,976 --> 01:23:42,476 Good luck, twerp. 1549 01:23:42,477 --> 01:23:44,979 Good luck to you, pops. 1550 01:23:44,980 --> 01:23:46,479 Okay, Doc, begin. 1551 01:23:46,480 --> 01:23:48,482 One minute, Frank. 1552 01:23:49,983 --> 01:23:51,484 Ah-ha! 1553 01:23:53,988 --> 01:23:58,990 Now you are going to make McBurney's incision... 1554 01:23:58,991 --> 01:24:02,994 from the pubic symphysis to the iliac crest, 1555 01:24:02,995 --> 01:24:05,997 2/3 from the umbilicus. 1556 01:24:05,997 --> 01:24:08,497 I know. She has it all marked out in lipstick. 1557 01:24:08,499 --> 01:24:09,579 You mean from here to here. 1558 01:24:11,501 --> 01:24:13,502 I dearly hope so. 1559 01:24:17,006 --> 01:24:23,510 Now make one single light, firm stroke. 1560 01:24:23,511 --> 01:24:24,513 Ah. 1561 01:24:28,015 --> 01:24:30,017 Why, that's perfect, Frank. 1562 01:24:36,022 --> 01:24:38,023 He feel that? 1563 01:24:38,024 --> 01:24:42,025 * Oh, we are the joy boys of radio * 1564 01:24:42,026 --> 01:24:44,527 * Oh, ho ho, ho ho hoo * 1565 01:24:46,029 --> 01:24:50,032 Frank, are the nurses using hemostats? 1566 01:24:50,033 --> 01:24:51,032 Yes. 1567 01:24:51,033 --> 01:24:53,036 * Oh, my darlin' * 1568 01:24:53,036 --> 01:24:55,536 * Oh, my darlin' * 1569 01:24:55,537 --> 01:24:58,539 * Oh, my darli... * shut up! 1570 01:24:58,540 --> 01:25:01,042 I beg your pardon? 1571 01:25:02,543 --> 01:25:05,045 Now the peritoneum. 1572 01:25:05,045 --> 01:25:07,046 And now the peritoneum? 1573 01:25:07,047 --> 01:25:09,548 Yes, make the identical cut in the peritoneum. 1574 01:25:09,548 --> 01:25:11,549 Be sure not to go too deep! 1575 01:25:11,550 --> 01:25:15,053 And tell the nurses to use the retractors. 1576 01:25:15,054 --> 01:25:17,054 They are. 1577 01:25:17,055 --> 01:25:21,058 Now you've... now you've got to go through the omentum. 1578 01:25:24,562 --> 01:25:25,563 That's right. 1579 01:25:27,563 --> 01:25:30,066 Ahh! 1580 01:25:30,066 --> 01:25:32,066 Are the nurses still helping you? 1581 01:25:32,068 --> 01:25:34,069 Yes. 1582 01:25:41,575 --> 01:25:44,076 Okay, Doc, now, where's the appendix? 1583 01:25:44,078 --> 01:25:48,081 I can't quite figure out where it is. 1584 01:25:48,581 --> 01:25:50,081 Doc? 1585 01:25:50,082 --> 01:25:51,082 What happened? 1586 01:25:51,083 --> 01:25:53,085 I don't know, Doc. We lost contact. 1587 01:25:53,086 --> 01:25:54,085 Well, get it back, quick! 1588 01:25:56,588 --> 01:25:59,589 Mr. Pulver, can you hear me? 1589 01:25:59,589 --> 01:26:03,092 Doc?! * we are the joy boys... * 1590 01:26:03,093 --> 01:26:05,595 Shut up, you! Doc! 1591 01:26:05,595 --> 01:26:09,097 Wake up, idiot, and get back on that radio! 1592 01:26:13,101 --> 01:26:14,601 Mr. Pulver, can you... 1593 01:26:14,602 --> 01:26:17,603 Pulver, can you hear me? 1594 01:26:17,604 --> 01:26:18,605 Yes, I hear you. 1595 01:26:25,612 --> 01:26:26,611 Go ahead, Doc. 1596 01:26:26,612 --> 01:26:29,114 Now, do you see the protrusion? 1597 01:26:29,115 --> 01:26:30,615 Uh-huh. 1598 01:26:31,116 --> 01:26:32,116 That's the appendix. 1599 01:26:32,117 --> 01:26:34,618 Is there any sign of a rupture? 1600 01:26:34,619 --> 01:26:35,619 No. 1601 01:26:36,120 --> 01:26:37,120 No. 1602 01:26:37,122 --> 01:26:39,123 Good. Now... 1603 01:26:39,622 --> 01:26:44,125 Very carefully tie the appendix off at the stub. 1604 01:26:44,127 --> 01:26:46,628 Right. Got it. 1605 01:26:46,628 --> 01:26:49,630 Gently... gently... elevate 1606 01:26:49,630 --> 01:26:54,134 and cut between the tie and the appendix. 1607 01:27:01,641 --> 01:27:04,643 I'm doing it. 1608 01:27:04,644 --> 01:27:06,645 Carefully cradle it out, Frank. 1609 01:27:18,155 --> 01:27:22,158 The appendix is out, Doc. 1610 01:27:22,659 --> 01:27:24,659 Nice going, Doc! You did it! 1611 01:27:25,661 --> 01:27:28,162 No! No! Quiet! 1612 01:27:28,164 --> 01:27:29,663 Quiet! It's not finished yet. 1613 01:27:29,664 --> 01:27:31,665 Frank, how's the patient doing? 1614 01:27:32,167 --> 01:27:35,168 The pulse and respiration are satisfactory. 1615 01:27:35,168 --> 01:27:38,171 Apparently, he's feeling no pain. 1616 01:27:38,171 --> 01:27:39,171 You're not feeling no pain, huh, honey? 1617 01:27:39,172 --> 01:27:41,173 He's okay, Doc. 1618 01:27:41,174 --> 01:27:44,676 All right. Now sprinkle sulfa powder around the area 1619 01:27:45,177 --> 01:27:47,178 and sew up the peritoneum. 1620 01:27:48,679 --> 01:27:50,180 Suture. Suture. 1621 01:27:50,181 --> 01:27:51,682 Suture. 1622 01:27:51,682 --> 01:27:53,682 Sponge. Sponge. 1623 01:27:53,684 --> 01:27:55,685 Sponge. 1624 01:27:55,686 --> 01:27:57,686 Alcohol. Alcohol. 1625 01:27:57,687 --> 01:27:59,187 Would never touch it. 1626 01:27:59,188 --> 01:28:00,189 Sterilize the marbles. 1627 01:28:00,190 --> 01:28:04,693 Sterilize the marbles. Sterilized. 1628 01:28:08,697 --> 01:28:11,197 Doctor, what are you doing with those ma... 1629 01:28:11,198 --> 01:28:13,201 take those marbles out of that man! 1630 01:28:13,700 --> 01:28:15,200 They're pure sterilized glass. 1631 01:28:15,201 --> 01:28:18,704 Dr. Hyde said a human body can retain sterilized glass. 1632 01:28:19,205 --> 01:28:20,704 Isn't that right, Doc? 1633 01:28:20,705 --> 01:28:23,208 Right! 1634 01:28:23,209 --> 01:28:25,709 I told you to take those marbles out of that man's... 1635 01:28:25,710 --> 01:28:29,213 leave them in there, Frank! They'll make a wonderful sound. 1636 01:28:31,214 --> 01:28:33,715 Doctor, when this war is over, 1637 01:28:33,717 --> 01:28:36,720 I'm gonna report you to the American Medical Association. 1638 01:28:37,220 --> 01:28:39,720 And you know what I'm gonna do to you? 1639 01:28:39,721 --> 01:28:41,223 No, you're not. She's not your type. 1640 01:28:41,223 --> 01:28:43,723 Oh, no, a promise is a promise. 1641 01:28:48,229 --> 01:28:50,729 Take them out, Frank. 1642 01:28:53,733 --> 01:28:56,734 Take that last one out, too. 1643 01:28:56,736 --> 01:28:58,236 That's not a marble. 1644 01:28:58,237 --> 01:28:59,737 You're damn right it ain't. 1645 01:28:59,738 --> 01:29:01,739 Oh. 1646 01:29:03,741 --> 01:29:05,743 Okay, it's done. 1647 01:29:06,244 --> 01:29:10,247 Good. Now sew up the outer incision, Frank. 1648 01:29:17,753 --> 01:29:20,753 I'm sewing. 1649 01:29:20,755 --> 01:29:23,257 Okay, it's finished. 1650 01:29:23,258 --> 01:29:25,260 Thank you, Doc. 1651 01:29:27,261 --> 01:29:30,262 Whoopee! 1652 01:29:30,263 --> 01:29:34,266 [ Chanting in native language ] 1653 01:30:07,293 --> 01:30:09,295 Whoo-hoo-hoo! 1654 01:30:30,813 --> 01:30:33,315 Now hear this! Now hear this! 1655 01:30:33,315 --> 01:30:36,317 All personnel form on the quarterdeck 1656 01:30:36,318 --> 01:30:37,818 for the official welcome. 1657 01:30:37,818 --> 01:30:41,321 The captain will be back on board momentarily. 1658 01:30:41,322 --> 01:30:44,823 All right, you jailbirds, recess is over. 1659 01:30:44,825 --> 01:30:46,825 That is all. 1660 01:30:58,336 --> 01:31:00,836 You gonna see your nurse after the war? 1661 01:31:00,838 --> 01:31:01,838 Gonna marry mine. 1662 01:31:05,342 --> 01:31:07,343 Captain, we'll be there in a second. 1663 01:31:07,343 --> 01:31:09,344 You haven't let me talk to you since... 1664 01:31:09,345 --> 01:31:10,344 since the operation. 1665 01:31:10,345 --> 01:31:12,346 I got nothing to say to you 1666 01:31:12,348 --> 01:31:13,847 except on official business. 1667 01:31:13,848 --> 01:31:15,848 But you haven't listened to anybody. 1668 01:31:15,849 --> 01:31:18,351 Why, you don't even know what happened that night... 1669 01:31:18,352 --> 01:31:20,853 who told me how to operate or anything. 1670 01:31:20,854 --> 01:31:23,855 You were so full of that coconut stuff, 1671 01:31:23,856 --> 01:31:25,858 you wanted to grab all the women on the island and... 1672 01:31:25,859 --> 01:31:26,859 now you shut up! 1673 01:31:27,360 --> 01:31:28,859 The admiral's doctor said you've done a fair job. 1674 01:31:28,861 --> 01:31:30,020 That should be enough for you. 1675 01:31:31,863 --> 01:31:35,865 Why did they keep them in the hospital so long, Doc? 1676 01:31:35,866 --> 01:31:39,369 Convalescence, observation. 1677 01:31:39,370 --> 01:31:41,371 All right, dress up left. 1678 01:31:45,374 --> 01:31:49,377 What's it gonna be like with him back, Doc? 1679 01:31:49,378 --> 01:31:50,878 God knows. 1680 01:31:50,879 --> 01:31:55,382 Ship's company... attention! 1681 01:31:55,383 --> 01:31:57,884 Hand salute! 1682 01:32:01,387 --> 01:32:03,389 Welcome aboard. 1683 01:32:09,394 --> 01:32:11,896 At ease! 1684 01:32:14,897 --> 01:32:17,900 Well, a lot's happened in the last eight weeks, 1685 01:32:17,900 --> 01:32:20,903 but the less said about that, the better. 1686 01:32:20,904 --> 01:32:23,405 We learned a lot about survival. 1687 01:32:23,905 --> 01:32:26,408 It'll be of great help to the navy. 1688 01:32:26,409 --> 01:32:28,908 But remember... 1689 01:32:28,910 --> 01:32:33,913 Ensign Pulver and me will answer no questions 1690 01:32:33,914 --> 01:32:37,416 about our experiences. 1691 01:32:37,417 --> 01:32:40,418 Well, I guess that's about all. 1692 01:32:40,420 --> 01:32:43,420 Unless you have something to say, Mr. Lasueur. 1693 01:32:43,421 --> 01:32:45,923 Well, there is one thing, captain. 1694 01:32:45,923 --> 01:32:48,425 This memorandum came from the bureau. 1695 01:32:48,426 --> 01:32:52,428 Admiral Finchley sent it over by launch with a little note, 1696 01:32:52,430 --> 01:32:55,931 instructing me to give you this the moment you came aboard. 1697 01:32:55,932 --> 01:32:58,434 Ship's company... attention! 1698 01:33:06,440 --> 01:33:08,941 This is no time or place for presentations. 1699 01:33:08,943 --> 01:33:11,444 Well, I guess the admiral figured the men would get a kick 1700 01:33:11,445 --> 01:33:13,286 out of seeing their captain become a commander. 1701 01:33:13,447 --> 01:33:14,946 Mm. 1702 01:33:14,947 --> 01:33:16,948 Sure. 1703 01:33:16,949 --> 01:33:19,951 All right, Dowdy. 1704 01:33:19,951 --> 01:33:22,953 The crew would just like me to say, 1705 01:33:22,954 --> 01:33:24,957 well, let bygones be bygones. 1706 01:33:25,457 --> 01:33:27,457 Crews and captains sometimes have frictions, 1707 01:33:27,458 --> 01:33:29,960 but when you were in trouble, captain, 1708 01:33:29,960 --> 01:33:31,461 we were rooting for you, 1709 01:33:31,461 --> 01:33:33,963 and we're glad you pulled through. 1710 01:33:33,964 --> 01:33:37,465 And we'd all be mighty proud to see you put that cap on. 1711 01:33:59,484 --> 01:34:01,987 Just put it on. 1712 01:34:04,989 --> 01:34:09,492 I hope nobody thinks that exposure to the elements... 1713 01:34:09,492 --> 01:34:13,995 A minor operation has changed me into somebody else. 1714 01:34:13,996 --> 01:34:16,997 I'm the same guy, only stronger. 1715 01:34:16,998 --> 01:34:21,001 The admiral says I can keep my ship till the war's over. 1716 01:34:21,003 --> 01:34:22,003 Bruno! 1717 01:34:22,504 --> 01:34:24,004 Bruno! 1718 01:34:26,507 --> 01:34:28,006 Oh, for cripes... 1719 01:34:28,007 --> 01:34:29,509 uh, I'm sorry, sir. 1720 01:34:29,510 --> 01:34:33,511 I just had a radio message for Seaman First Class Bruno, 1721 01:34:33,512 --> 01:34:35,513 and I forgot that you... 1722 01:34:35,514 --> 01:34:37,013 It's nothing. 1723 01:34:37,015 --> 01:34:39,516 Hold on. 1724 01:34:39,517 --> 01:34:42,018 Is that message an emergency? 1725 01:34:42,519 --> 01:34:43,520 Not exactly. 1726 01:34:43,520 --> 01:34:48,023 It's, uh... just that John X is gonna have a baby. 1727 01:34:48,024 --> 01:34:50,526 I mean, his wife is gonna have a ba... 1728 01:34:50,527 --> 01:34:52,528 hey, that's great! 1729 01:34:52,529 --> 01:34:54,529 Another bambino! 1730 01:35:00,033 --> 01:35:03,036 Hold on. Attention! 1731 01:35:06,540 --> 01:35:09,541 Did you wrangle a leave while I was gone? 1732 01:35:09,542 --> 01:35:13,044 No, sir, I... I went AWOL. 1733 01:35:17,548 --> 01:35:18,548 How long were you away? 1734 01:35:18,549 --> 01:35:20,551 Oh, long enough, I guess, sir. 1735 01:35:20,552 --> 01:35:25,555 Captain, he didn't go A.W.O.L. I signed his orders. 1736 01:35:25,556 --> 01:35:27,556 At the insistence of the ship's doctor. 1737 01:35:27,557 --> 01:35:29,058 You, huh? 1738 01:35:30,559 --> 01:35:33,562 Well, Doc, this time you've gone a step too far. 1739 01:35:33,562 --> 01:35:36,062 You knew how I felt about him getting leave. 1740 01:35:36,063 --> 01:35:37,564 'Course, captain. 1741 01:35:37,565 --> 01:35:38,565 But as a doctor, 1742 01:35:38,566 --> 01:35:41,568 I wasn't much interested in how you felt, sir. 1743 01:35:42,068 --> 01:35:44,069 I was interested in how he felt. 1744 01:35:44,069 --> 01:35:46,070 What else has been going on here? 1745 01:35:46,071 --> 01:35:47,572 Shore parties and swimming? 1746 01:35:47,573 --> 01:35:50,074 Yes, captain, we've been raising hell. 1747 01:35:50,075 --> 01:35:53,578 And yet we've done more cargo work than ever before. 1748 01:35:53,579 --> 01:35:55,078 Are you trying to suggest 1749 01:35:55,079 --> 01:35:57,081 that my ship's been better off without me? 1750 01:35:57,582 --> 01:35:58,582 No, indeed. 1751 01:35:58,582 --> 01:36:00,082 That's your suggestion, captain, not mine. 1752 01:36:00,083 --> 01:36:03,085 Maybe this ship would be better off with a new doctor. 1753 01:36:03,085 --> 01:36:05,588 How do you like that for a suggestion? 1754 01:36:05,589 --> 01:36:07,589 That's up to your usual standards, sir. 1755 01:36:09,591 --> 01:36:12,092 Mr. Lasueur! 1756 01:36:12,092 --> 01:36:15,095 Bruno is restricted to the ship, pending court-martial. 1757 01:36:15,095 --> 01:36:18,096 Dolan, come to my cabin. 1758 01:36:18,097 --> 01:36:19,599 Start the paperwork on him. 1759 01:36:19,600 --> 01:36:24,603 Also, type out the doctor's request 1760 01:36:24,605 --> 01:36:26,605 for a transfer. 1761 01:36:36,613 --> 01:36:38,614 Just a minute, Lasueur. 1762 01:36:38,615 --> 01:36:41,616 I'd like to talk to him first. 1763 01:36:41,617 --> 01:36:45,118 Bruno, Doc, could you come with me? 1764 01:36:46,622 --> 01:36:48,623 Come in, Dolan. 1765 01:36:48,624 --> 01:36:54,128 I want you to start some court-martial proceedings. 1766 01:36:56,631 --> 01:36:59,131 Well, captain, before you start anything like that, 1767 01:36:59,131 --> 01:37:02,134 I think you should know I'm not the one who saved your life. 1768 01:37:02,134 --> 01:37:04,134 Well, Doc here told me what to do 1769 01:37:04,135 --> 01:37:06,137 over the radio, step by step. 1770 01:37:06,138 --> 01:37:07,137 Wait a minute. 1771 01:37:07,138 --> 01:37:09,138 And Bruno kept radio contact the whole time. 1772 01:37:09,140 --> 01:37:11,140 Now, if it wasn't for these two men, 1773 01:37:11,141 --> 01:37:12,141 you'd be dead right now. 1774 01:37:12,142 --> 01:37:14,143 And it wasn't only them. 1775 01:37:14,144 --> 01:37:15,644 Why, any man in the radio shack 1776 01:37:15,645 --> 01:37:17,646 could have pulled a wire or kicked out a plug. 1777 01:37:17,647 --> 01:37:20,649 But nobody did. 1778 01:37:20,651 --> 01:37:22,651 Now, you weren't in any condition 1779 01:37:22,651 --> 01:37:23,652 to know it at the time... 1780 01:37:23,653 --> 01:37:25,654 shut your mouth about that! 1781 01:37:26,154 --> 01:37:27,154 It was an emergency. 1782 01:37:27,655 --> 01:37:29,657 Everybody did what he had to do, 1783 01:37:30,157 --> 01:37:31,157 and that's all. 1784 01:37:31,158 --> 01:37:33,159 And now I've got things to do. 1785 01:37:33,160 --> 01:37:34,660 Get out! 1786 01:37:43,167 --> 01:37:47,170 You better go while the going's good, captain. 1787 01:37:47,171 --> 01:37:49,673 It isn't safe for you on this ship. 1788 01:37:51,175 --> 01:37:53,177 No, nobody's gonna kill you, but... 1789 01:37:53,677 --> 01:37:55,177 But you can't stay alive here... 1790 01:37:55,177 --> 01:37:57,680 While looking at me every day and Doc and Bruno 1791 01:37:58,180 --> 01:38:01,182 and all the other guys who saw under your guts that night. 1792 01:38:01,183 --> 01:38:05,185 I don't know what you're talking about, mister. 1793 01:38:05,186 --> 01:38:06,186 Yes, you do. 1794 01:38:06,187 --> 01:38:08,687 I'm the guy on the raft with you, remember? 1795 01:38:08,689 --> 01:38:11,691 Look, it's all here, everything you said and did, 1796 01:38:12,191 --> 01:38:14,193 all the things you're afraid of. 1797 01:38:14,193 --> 01:38:17,696 Oh, you were just as crazy with the heat as I was. 1798 01:38:17,697 --> 01:38:20,198 Nobody would pay any attention 1799 01:38:20,198 --> 01:38:22,700 to what you scribbled on that raft. 1800 01:38:22,701 --> 01:38:25,203 Wouldn't they? Nobody? 1801 01:38:27,705 --> 01:38:31,707 Well, what do you want for that? 1802 01:38:31,707 --> 01:38:33,208 A transfer? 1803 01:38:33,209 --> 01:38:36,210 No, I... I just want to stay on the ship and work with Doc. 1804 01:38:36,211 --> 01:38:40,213 Oh, I... I see. You... you want a promotion. 1805 01:38:40,214 --> 01:38:43,216 You want a citation, 1806 01:38:43,217 --> 01:38:44,717 so your father and your brothers 1807 01:38:44,718 --> 01:38:45,919 can read about it in the paper. 1808 01:38:46,220 --> 01:38:48,221 I don't want a citation, captain. 1809 01:38:48,221 --> 01:38:50,222 I'd look stupid with a Navy Cross. 1810 01:38:50,223 --> 01:38:53,226 Well, what are you going to do with that? 1811 01:38:53,726 --> 01:38:55,228 I'm gonna give it to you. 1812 01:38:58,229 --> 01:38:59,731 Oh, I forgot. 1813 01:38:59,731 --> 01:39:02,232 You can't take presents, can you? 1814 01:39:02,233 --> 01:39:04,734 All right. 1815 01:39:06,236 --> 01:39:08,236 Don't worry. I won't tell anybody about it. 1816 01:39:08,237 --> 01:39:09,739 You've got my word. 1817 01:39:09,740 --> 01:39:12,740 It'll be a kind of professional secret. 1818 01:39:12,741 --> 01:39:15,743 What do you want from me, mister? 1819 01:39:15,744 --> 01:39:18,747 I can't change. 1820 01:39:18,747 --> 01:39:19,747 For god's sake, 1821 01:39:19,748 --> 01:39:22,248 don't ask me to be something different than... 1822 01:39:22,249 --> 01:39:23,251 than what I am. 1823 01:39:26,753 --> 01:39:30,256 You want me to say... to say thank you? 1824 01:39:34,760 --> 01:39:35,760 All right. 1825 01:39:40,263 --> 01:39:43,265 No, captain! I don't want anything from you! 1826 01:39:43,266 --> 01:39:44,766 I just want to help you. 1827 01:39:46,269 --> 01:39:48,270 Why? 1828 01:39:48,271 --> 01:39:51,273 Because... 1829 01:39:53,275 --> 01:39:55,276 Well, I've got to. 1830 01:39:55,277 --> 01:40:00,280 Because it'll always be this way. 1831 01:40:00,280 --> 01:40:03,282 There'll never be any reward. 1832 01:40:03,282 --> 01:40:07,286 It'll just be the next thing to do. 1833 01:40:09,288 --> 01:40:12,789 Get off this ship, captain. 1834 01:40:12,791 --> 01:40:14,291 You're dying to be a nice guy 1835 01:40:14,292 --> 01:40:16,292 and say thank you to this whole crew. 1836 01:40:16,293 --> 01:40:19,296 But you can't, can you? 1837 01:40:19,296 --> 01:40:20,296 And if you don't, 1838 01:40:20,297 --> 01:40:22,299 it's gonna pump up into your throat 1839 01:40:22,299 --> 01:40:23,799 until it chokes you to death. 1840 01:40:29,805 --> 01:40:31,305 Come back here, mister! 1841 01:40:31,306 --> 01:40:33,306 You can't talk to me like that! 1842 01:40:33,308 --> 01:40:34,307 You can't talk to me... 1843 01:40:45,318 --> 01:40:49,321 ship's company... attention! 1844 01:40:57,327 --> 01:41:00,829 Hand salute! 1845 01:41:00,831 --> 01:41:02,330 Ho! 1846 01:41:02,331 --> 01:41:05,834 Captain, may we present you with your commission pennant? 1847 01:41:13,341 --> 01:41:15,841 She's your ship... 1848 01:41:15,842 --> 01:41:17,845 Captain. 1849 01:41:28,353 --> 01:41:31,855 Goodbye, doctor. 1850 01:41:31,856 --> 01:41:33,857 Goodbye, captain. 1851 01:41:33,858 --> 01:41:36,358 I wasn't talking to you. 1852 01:41:36,359 --> 01:41:38,860 I was talking to him. 1853 01:41:40,864 --> 01:41:43,865 Man the rail! 1854 01:41:52,874 --> 01:41:57,876 Ship's company... hand salute! 1855 01:41:57,877 --> 01:41:59,378 Tow! 1856 01:42:01,379 --> 01:42:02,881 Shove off. 1857 01:42:02,882 --> 01:42:04,883 Shove off. 1858 01:42:07,886 --> 01:42:11,386 Oh, god, how he hates to leave this ship. 1859 01:42:11,387 --> 01:42:13,890 Then why did he ask to leave? 1860 01:42:15,127 --> 01:42:18,023 Admiral Finchley didn't request his transfer. 1861 01:42:18,048 --> 01:42:19,407 The captain asked to be transferred 1862 01:42:19,432 --> 01:42:20,637 to the admiral's staff. 1863 01:42:20,980 --> 01:42:22,372 He typed out the request himself. 1864 01:42:22,398 --> 01:42:23,510 Wouldn't even let Dolan do it. 1865 01:42:23,535 --> 01:42:24,535 How do you know? 1866 01:42:24,560 --> 01:42:26,400 Because Dolan steamed the letter open, 1867 01:42:26,401 --> 01:42:27,401 like all good yeomen. 1868 01:42:28,658 --> 01:42:30,249 Captain Morton got himself transferred 1869 01:42:30,274 --> 01:42:31,404 off this ship for one reason... 1870 01:42:31,405 --> 01:42:32,801 so he wouldn't have to say thank you 1871 01:42:32,826 --> 01:42:34,059 to the men who saved his life. 1872 01:42:34,084 --> 01:42:34,801 That's not true. 1873 01:42:34,826 --> 01:42:36,779 He's saying thank you now, big brain... 1874 01:42:38,003 --> 01:42:39,355 The only way he knows how... 1875 01:42:39,971 --> 01:42:41,737 by leaving the ship he loves. 1876 01:42:43,022 --> 01:42:45,663 This is the guy that was gonna put marbles in his overhead. 1877 01:42:45,688 --> 01:42:47,853 He was even gonna leave them in his belly. 1878 01:42:51,421 --> 01:42:54,423 Oh, now wait a minute. Oh, no. 1879 01:42:54,424 --> 01:42:57,195 No, I distinctly heard the head nurse 1880 01:42:57,220 --> 01:42:59,451 tell you to take them out. 1881 01:43:01,521 --> 01:43:03,171 I put them back. 1882 01:43:08,067 --> 01:43:11,068 Well, I'll be a bobtailed bastard. 1883 01:43:11,241 --> 01:43:14,244 Genius. Absolute genius.